Quite Possibly the Best Bread Everrrrrr...

     This is seriously the best English Muffin Bread that I have ever had. It isn't quite as nook and cranny-ish because of the whole wheat flour, but it still has the right texture and flavor. Sliced with some butter or jam is delish, but toast up a slice and slather on some butter and ohhh Lord will the Heavens sing.

     Not only is this the best English Muffin Bread I have had, but it is without a doubt the easiest loaf of bread I have ever made. And there have been many a loaf made with these two not so little hands. No kneading, either. Guess I'll have to get my arm workout somewhere else.

You Will Need:

• 2 and 2/3 cups of warm water
• 3 and 1/2 tsp Active Dry Yeast
• 1 Tbsp salt
• 2 Tbsp honey
• 3 cups whole wheat flour
• 2 1/2 cups flour (white)

DIRECTIONS:

1. In a large plastic or glass bowl, add the warm water, yeast and honey. Give it a good stir and let sit for 5 to 10 minutes until nice a foamy.
2. Add your flours and the salt and mix very well. This dough is going to be super sticky, so don't worry when it doesn't come together like regular old bread dough.
3. Cover with a warm damp towel and let rise til it reaches the top of the bowl. (This took about 40 to 45 minutes for me.)
4. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Divide dough evenly between 2 loaf pans that have been sprayed with non stick cooking spray. Cover again and let rise until the dough reaches the top of the pans. (For me, this took 30 minutes.)
5. Pop the pans into your preheated oven and bake for 35 to 45 minutes. Mine took exactly 35 minutes. :) READ: 5 to 10 minutes before the bake time is up, brush the top of each loaf with a bit of melted butter and pop back into the oven to finish baking.
6. By now, the smell should be driving you crazy! When it is nice and golden in color, it is done. Remove from the oven and cool in pan on wire racks.
7. When cool, slice that bad boy up and slather on some butter or jam and get ready to moan in delight! Mmmmm yesssss. ;)

Peanut Butter Bliss nestled in homemade chocolate blossom bowls.

     This was tonight's dessert. So decadent. And almost good for you. Seriously, the Peanut Butter Bliss is only 1point plus on Weight Watchers for 1/12th of the batch! And it is embarrassingly simple to make.

1. Mix an 8 oz container of Sugar Free Cool Whip with 3 Tbsp of peanut butter. Mix well.
2. Eat. Simple, yes??

     To make the chocolate bowl, I didn't have any balloons around the house, so I turned a fluted bowl upside down, covered it in plastic wrap, melted chocolate and carefully brushed it on. I set this in the freezer for about an hour, then remelted my remaining chocolate and brushed another layer on top of each chocolate bowl to make sure they were sturdy. I popped em back into the freezer just til we were done with our Patty Melts and ready for dessert. When ready, just fill em with your Peanut Butter Bliss and freaking enjoy. Ohhhhh gaaaaawd yesssss.

Wordless Wednesday...

                         Ohhhhh Lord. Don't lick the glass!!!!

Excuse me while I have a When Harry Met Sally restaurant scene moment..."

     Scrolling through Pinterest, I came across something beautiful. Something so beautiful, I could've cried. But I didn't. Instead, I wiped the drool from my mouth and ran upstairs to the kitchen. I then did a quick survey of the cabinets to make sure I had what I needed to make these bad boys, and seeing that I did indeed, I set to work.

     You ready for this? Hold onto your pants. Almond. Joy. Cupcakes! UGH!!These cupcakes are super duper easy while still yielding seriously impressive results. I did tweak the recipe a bit, adding in 1 tsp of coconut extract to the cake batter and I also used melted dark chocolate to dip them in instead of chocolate melts. I know Almond Joy candies have milk chocolate, but I'm a sucker for some dark chocolate. And these were made  to get stuffed into *my* pie-hole for my family who enjoys the dark stuff, so that is what I used.


     These are also delicious without the chocolate shell. My mom isn't too fond of very sweet things, and these are definitely very sweet, so I left a couple without it. Of course I tried one of those, too.


            Freaking... YUM!

     If you are a fan of Almond Joys, then I strongly urge you to give these a try. For really real. But, be warned that after tasting one, you may have to try a second one. You know, just to make sure that they really were THAT delicious and it wasn't just your imagination. And maybe even a third. That's perfectly fine. Just don't hog the plate of cupcakes to yourself and start swinging at anyone who comes near them. Cuz you know, that would be crazy. More for you, sure, but still crazy. You can find the recipe for these bad ass mofos HERE.

"You Shake Like A Man." Wait... What?

     So I'm sitting here minding my own business and I'm thirsty. So, I pop open a bottle of water and add in a lil packet of Crystal Light, and start shaking it. I'm holding the bottle and shaking it by twisting my wrist left and right. Ya know, like I always do. Well, I'm sure you didn't know that, but now you do.

• Mr: "You shake like a man."

• Me: *shake shake shake* "What??"

• Mr: "You shake like a man."

• Me: "I...shake... like a man? What the fuck does that mean?"

• Mr: *mimics how I''m shaking the bottle* "That is how a man shakes stuff."

• Me: "Ummm no. A guy would shake like this." *shakes bottle in a jerking off fashion.*

• Mr: "No. A guy that jerks off a lot would shake it like that. That's how a woman shakes, too."

• Me: "No. Actually this is how I shake shit cuz I'm fucking fat. If I shake like this *demonstrates jerk off shake* I would feel fat jiggle. But by shaking like this *demonstrates the twist shake* nothing jiggles and I don't look like an asshole thus feeling just a little better about myself. So there."

Did we really just have this conversation?!?

Snow Day!!

     Not a legit snow day, since we didn't get as much snow as was expected. Just enough snow tho for me to not want to be out driving with a baby amongst the eeeeediots that don't know how to drive when there is white stuff on the ground. The kiddies weren't feeling well yesterday so I also figured "What he hell, I'll give em an extra day to feel better." Also didn't want to have to go out in this after getting the inevitable call "Your child is sick, when can you come pick him/her up?" So, snow day it is!

 












Mr had his day off today and was outside running the snow blower while I was having a smoke. I love watching the snow shoot out of it. It just looks so pretty. This time however, the snow shooting out of the snow blower blanketed the face with an almost perfect blank canvas. It made me want to paint but of course I'm out of paint. And canvas, and my brushes are shot. (Awesome idea I had when I bought craptastic brushes to try and save a few bucks. Blah. Lesson learned.) Anyways, I'm staring at the beautiful blank canvas and sad because I can't paint. *Insert mega pouty lip here.* Because well, thats what I do when I'm pouting..

     Flash forward about 20 minutes, *lightbulb goes off*

• Me: *gasp!* "Mike! Do you have any spray bottles?"
• Mr: "No."
• Me: "Damn it!" OH!! Wait! *Picks up empty Cherry Coke bottle* "Can you poke holes in the cap for me?"
• Mr: "Okay, why?"
• Me: "I have an ideeeeeea!"
• Mr: *pokes holes in pop cap*
• Me: "More! We need at least two more!"
• Mr: *Searches around and comes up with exactly two more* (See, it was meant to be!)
• Me: "Can you poke holes in those, too?"
• Mr: *Pokes holes in those as well.* (he's such a trooper, isn't he?)
• Me: "Thaaaank yoooou!" *heads to the kitchen*

 
      I'm sure by now you can totally see where I'm going with this. I filled each bottle with  cold water and dropped in some food coloring, rounded the kiddies up and we headed outside. Once they figured out what was about to go down, they were seriously stoked. As was I.

     The kiddies had a freaking blast, and I loved watching them get so into it. Oh you KNOW I took pictures. I took a lot of pictures. And now my friends? Yes, I am going to bombard you with said pictures.

 

 

Things I'm Thankful For Thursday

     I am thankful that I have some seriously awesome friends, each amazing in their own way, who are always there for me when I need them.

     There's Jess. Jess and I have been through the wringer together. She has seen me through some pretty damn dark times, always offering her shoulder, (and sometimes even a "Cheeeer up, Charliiiie..." in a singsong voice.) She is artistic and thoughtful and always has my back. I know that if I need some honest advice, I can always go to her and she won't sugarcoat shit. If I'm being an asshole she will tell me "Hey, chill, you're kinda being an asshole." (Hey, we all have our moments!) For quite a while we had a dark drive routine. If one of us was stressed out or feeling anxious, we'd jump in the van, stop for a cup of coffee, load a CD made for such occasions, take off down the darkest roads we could find, and just drive. Sometimes til 3 or 4 in the morning. In those moments, speeding down the darkest of tree lined roads, the perfect mix of music playing, smoking, windows all the way down (even in the dead of winter) so that the wind whipped through our hair, there was no need for words. I swear, we were just perfectly on the same wavelength. There were some moments, during those drives, that proved that we were exactly where we were supposed to be at that exact moment. I take comfort in those memories. And damn do I miss our drives.

     There's Erika. She is an amazingly fucking talented artist and I can't wait to see where her art will take her, as I just know there are great things in her future. From her awesome clothes, always rocking hair, great taste in music, to her humongous fucking heart, Erika is suuuuper sweet and generous. She likes what she likes and doesn't give a damn what you think, which I fucking love about her. She also has seen me through some really rough times. When she doesn't know what to say in a situation, she simply offers me comfort and lets me know she is there, which is sometimes all I really need. I shudder to think how many of my sob stories she has endured. And fuck is she a blast to drink with.

     There's Patty. Patty is super artistic and plays one meeeean ass guitar. Seriously, I've heard her play SO many times, and I'm still amazed every time. Talented bitch! She and I have the whole "tough bitch" thing in common in that we both talk the talk and damn sure walk the walk. Patty is so insanely funny that it's sick. She has quite literally had me nearly pissing myself from laughing countless times. She is empathetic and strong both in heart and will. I know that I can always count on her to lift my spirits and make me laugh when I need it most. I miss the summer nights spent chilling on her porch, shooting the shit, listening to her sing while she strummed her guitar.

     Then of course there is Brina. Ohhhh Brina. Brina and I are very much sisters in soul. She is an amazing mama, SO fucking kindhearted, generous and alwaaaays has my back. Brina just gets me in a way that I don't think anyone else ever could. She has seen me through my absolute darkest of times, she has picked me up off the floor many times and even held me up when I didn't have the strength or will to stand up on my own. If I ever need anything at all, Hell, if I wanted the stars from the sky to decorate my bedroom with, I know that she would move Heaven and Earth to try and make it happen. And I would do the same for her. She knows my deepest darkest secrets, things that not one other soul in the world knows. I trust her totally and completely. After almost 16 years of friendship, there are just too damn many favorite moments and memories between us to name just one. I can't wait til Summer so we can start having our swimming/BBQ/bonfire weekends again.

     There are a few more, but these are my Rocks. I love each one of them for who they are and appreciate the hell out of them. I truly don't know what I would do without them, aside from lose my fucking mind. Thank you guys, for everything. You mean more to me than you may ever really know.

Garlicky Spinach, Feta and Roasted Red Pepper Stuffed Chicken Breast

     How delicious does that look? I had planned on making my Cheesy Chicken Tamale Bake for dinner tonight, but at the last minute realized that I had forgotten to buy the damn creamed corn. Uggghhh. There was no time to run to the store and I had these chicken breasts that needed to be used up tonight. So I set out out to throw something together with what I had. I knew I had chicken, spinach, feta and roasted red peppers. I was tempted to throw together a really tasty salad, but didn't especially want salad. So on a whim, I threw this together. And it turned out simply delicious. It was definitely a hit in my house. Give it a try and let me know if it was a hit in your house as well, won't you?

YOU NEED:

• 4 good sized chicken breasts
• 4-5 cups of fresh baby spinach
• 1/4 cup feta cheese crumbles (I always use the reduced fat, it is seriously just as good as the full fat!!)
• a couple slices of pepper from a jar of roasted red peppers, sliced into thin strips
• 1 Tbsp butter
• 3 tsp garlic powder
• a sprinkle of season salt
• a sprinkle of parmesan cheese

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Spray a baking dish with nonstick cooking spray.
2.  Melt butter in a pan over medium low heat. Add your spinach. Don't worry if the pan is FULL because spinach wilts down to next to nothing. Seriously. Watch and see. Give the spinach a good stir after 2 minutes, then sprinkle in your garlic powder and give it another good stir. When totally wilted down, remove from heat.
3. While the spinach is cooking, place your knife on one long side of a chicken breast and slice horizontally through the breast but DO NOT slice all the way through. You don't want to cut it into two pieces, you want to be able to open it like a book. Repeat with all breasts.
4. Opening a chicken breast (like a book) spread 1/4 of the spinach across it, leaving a little bit of empty space on all sides.
5. Sprinkle 1/4 of the feta across and then 1/4 of the red peppers.
6. Starting on a long side, tightly roll the chicken breast up. If some filling falls out, don't worry, just stuff it back into the ends. Secure with some cotton twine or a toothpick or two. Repeat with remaining chicken breasts.
7. Place chicken breasts in the baking dish and sprinkle each with a little bit of season salt and parmesan cheese. Give the top of each a quick spray of your non stick spray. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes. Depending on the thickness of your chicken breasts, it could take a little bit less time or a little bit more time. Be sure to check on it. Cook til juices run clear and chicken is no longer pink.

     This would be delicious with a loaf of fresh, warm bread and a salad. Or a baked potato. Or some buttered egg noodles. YUM!

Wordless Wednesday

 

©Ryan Ann LiveLaughLoveBake

Frozen Coconut Whipped Cream Drops

     Pinterest does it again. I saw these floating around and decided that I just HAD to make them. Frozen whipped cream to keep on hand during hot chocolate season?? That simply cannot be be a bad thing. Only thing better? Frozen coconut whipped cream to keep on hand. You know something is a real winner when it makes you talk dirty to it after tasting it. "Ohhhhh my GOD, you are one delicious bitch!!!" seriously came out of my mouth after giving these babies a taste.

YOU WILL NEED:

• 1 cup heavy whipping cream
• 1 Tbsp powdered sugar
• 1 tsp coconut extract

DIRECTIONS:

1. In a medium sized bowl, beat your COLD heavy cream on low speed for 2 minutes. Bump the speed up to medium and beat until it starts to thicken up quite a bit. You are looking for the soft peak stage where when you lift the (turned off) beaters out of the cream, the mixture stands but the tips still fall a bit.
2. Add your Tbsp of powdered sugar and your coconut extract and continue beating on medium speed until stiff peak stage. You will know you have hit the stiff peaks stage when you turn off the beaters and lift them out of the whipped cream and the mixture stands at attention without falling. They are... well.. stiff peaks. lol
3. Add whipped cream to a piping bag fitted with desired tip. Pipe little drops onto a cookie sheet. I used the bottom of my spring form pan because I didn't have room to fit a big ass cookie sheet in my freezer at the moment.
4. Let set in the freezer for several hours. When fully frozen, remove and store in the freezer in an airtight container or ziploc bag. 

     Next time you have some hot chocolate, pull out one (or two) of these frozen little clouds of coconut goodness and drop it right on into your cup. Ahhhh. Life is good. :)

Ravioli Bake

     I've seen this one floating around Pinterest and finally decided to make it. I mean, layers of cheese ravioli, sauce, and more cheese? You don't need anything else to sell me on it! Well, maybe some wine... Nope. I have wine in the fridge, so never mind, I'm good. Super freaking easy to make, insanely fast to throw together and ohhhh myyyy Looooord, is it delicious!!! I'm sold! Throw it together and tell me I'm crazy. I dare you!

YOU NEED:

•      1 bag of frozen ravioli
•      1 large jar of spaghetti sauce
•      1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
•      6-8 slices of provolone cheese
•      Parmesan cheese to top with

DIRECTIONS: 

1. Preheat oven to 400º. Pour 1/3 of the spaghetti sauce into your 13x9 baking dish to cover bottom.
2. Line half of the ravioli up in dish. 
3. Top evenly with shredded mozzarella.
4. Pour another 1/3 of the spaghetti sauce evenly over the top.
5. Lay the other half of the ravioli on top.
6. Top with remaining sauce and provolone slices.
7. Cover with foil and bake for 35 minutes. Uncover and bake for another 10 minutes til bubbly. Top with parmesan and serve. :)

Domo Cake

     Today I made my first attempt at a Domo Cake. For not knowing what the hell I was doing, I think I did pretty well. I had a picture, but for me it's not always that simple to take something from a picture and make it a reality. So, I cut out some parchment paper the exact size of my sheet cake pan. I then used the paper to sketch the exact proportions of Mr Domo. I practiced it a few times, then got busy carving and frosting. I will admit, the frosting took several hours, but that was mainly because I was using a fairly small tip. Well, that and my hands like to cramp up on me when I pipe for too long.

     Anyways, this is how it turned out. :)

Things I'm Thankful For Thursday

     Ugh. Rough ass week for me. Again. This week, I'm thankful I still have my sanity. If you can call me "sane." And I'm thankful for finding out who I can really rely on, and who I can't. Which SUCKS, but is better in the long run I suppose.

Happy Valentine's Day

Semi Wordless Wednesday

 

FOCUS AND DETERMINATION GETS YOU A FOOT IN THE MOUTH.

Ohhhhh Beyoncé... Really??

     Unless you live under a rock, I'm sure you've heard about this whole Beyoncé issue regarding the pictures from her Super Bowl performance. She wants several of the pictures removed from the web because they are... wait for it... unflattering. Hello!! That sums up the majority of my pictures. You can read the story and see the pics.HERE

     She's on stage dancing fiercely, giving one hell of a show. Does she really expect that all of her pictures are going to look perfect? I mean seriously, they are action pictures. If you don't want there to be pictures of you making funny faces while dancing your heart out, then just fucking stand there like a stick in the mud and sing. Thats like me doing cartwheels, knowing someone is taking pictures, and getting pissed off when I'm upside down in some of the pictures.

     And really, why does Beyoncé feel entitled to decide what we see? Everyone that was watching that performance SAW those thrusts, hair tosses and awkward faces. Are you going to ask that we wipe our memory?? Furthermore, do you think that all of the people who have been featured on that wonderful People of Walmart site want to be on there?? But ohhh that's right, you're one of the Elite ones. You were allowed to (allegedly) shut down an entire wing of a hospital while you gave birth. I guess this is small beans compared to that.

     Hell, since you feel so entitled to dictate what everyone sees, I have a good 100 extra pounds that I don't want people to see. Shake a leg and get on that, will ya?

     Join us in living in the really real world, won't you? Pfffft... Celebrities.

Heart Cake

     I saw this while scrolling through Pinterest and just knew I HAD to attempt this. It worked out so much better than I expected it to. In case you haven't figured it out by now, I love experimenting in the kitchen. The original recipe called for pound cake mix. Which, of course, I did not have. So scratch it was. But not pound cake. I just wanted a simple white cake. And let me tell you, it turned out so so so delicious. It was the perfect treat to celebrate my son's participation in the district Spelling Bee. It really is not as hard to make as it may look, but make sure to read the directions through once or twice before jumping in the ring. That way there are no sucker punches halfway through the round, errr, baking session.

You Will Need:
     For the cake:

• 5 large eggs, at room temp
• 1 cup of milk, at room temp, divided into 1/4 cup and 3/4 cup
• 3 tsp of vanilla extract
• 3 cups cake flour, sifted
• 1 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 Tbsp plus 1 tsp baking powder
• 12 Tbsp butter, sliced and at room temp

     For the glaze:

• 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
• 2 Tbsp milk
• 1 tsp butter, melted
• 1/4 tsp vanilla

Directions:

1. Preheat your oven to 325 degrees F. Spray a loaf pan with non stick cooking spray. Cut a piece of parchment paper to the size of the bottom of the pan. Place in the pan, smooth out and air bubbles and give the bottom and sides another quick spray.
2. In a medium bowl, combine your egg whites (*remember, room temp!) 1/4 cup of milk and the vanilla.  Set this aside for now.
3. In a large bowl, combine your flour, sugar and baking powder. Mix them together to combine. 
4. To the dry mix, add the butter and the remaining 3/4 cup of milk. Mix on low for about a minute, then switch it on up to medium speed for 2 minutes.
5. Slowly add in 1/2 of your egg mixture. Mix for 1 minute. Add in the other 1/2 of your egg mixture and mix again for 1 minute, being sure to scrape the sides down if needed.
6. Divide your batter in half, between two bowls. Now, tint one bowl of batter whatever color you wish it to be. I planned on red, but only managed pink before saying "fuck this. Pink is fine." Place the other bowl of batter in the fridge for now.
7. Pour the colored batter  into your loaf pan and bake for 30 to 40 minutes, or until it passes the handy dandy toothpick test. (*Just a note here, when baking taller cakes or loaf pan cakes, I don't use a toothpick, I use a dry spaghetti noodle.)
8. Cool your cake completely. Remove from pan, wrap in plastic wrap and freeze that sucker for several hours. No less than 3. 
9. Now, wash and RE-prep your loaf pan just as you did before. Take your other bowl of batter out of the fridge and let it set out a bit while you take care of this next step. You want to take your cookie cutter in the shape of the design you want inside your cake. Stand it next to your cold cake and slice your cake the same thickness of your cookie cutter. You are going to slice it like you would slice a loaf of bread.
10. Using the cookie cutter, punch out your design from each slice.
11. Using the remaining batter, pour JUST enough batter into the pan to barely cover the bottom. Place your cake cut outs in the loaf pan, on top of the batter, standing upright. Keep adding them in, one in front of the other, until you have used them all. Make sure they are together nice and tight.
12. Pour the remaining batter over the top and sides. Bake again, for 30 to  40 minutes. Start checking for doneness early tho, as the cake MAY bake a little quicker this time around.
13. Let cool completely, remove from the pan and place on your serving dish. Shortly before you are ready to serve, *whip up some vanilla glaze and generously pour in over the cake, letting it run down the sides. 

*To make the glaze, simply combine all of your glaze ingredients together in a bowl and mix very well. If the glaze seems to thin, add a little bit more powdered sugar, if it seems too thick, add more milk.

   

Sometimes You Just Gotta Rock.

• Sometimes I get really down in the dumps. 

•  And sometimes, when I get really down in the dumps, I have to bake. 

• And when I bake, I have to listen to music. 

• And when I bake and listen to music, I have to sing. 

• And when I bake and listen to music and sing, I have to dance. 

• And when I bake and listen to music and sing and dance?

       
               Well my friends, then, I look like a total asshole.

     No, really. I mean it. I cannot dance. I can't even not dance. I don't know what it is I do, but I'm sure it's not pretty. But throw me a really good song, and a soup ladle and I will go to fucking town. No joke. I will throw down. Most recently, this involved baking Monkey Bread and that Peek A Boo Heart Cake that has been circulating around Pinterest. I was listening to Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover by Sophie B. Hawkins. And out came the soup ladle. And since I figured people probably think I'm full of shit when I post on facebook about singing into a soup ladle, out came the camera.

     Cuz, ya know... Sometimes, you just gotta drop your guard and rock theeee fuck out. And then post the evidence on the net. Cuz you just don't give a shit. Oh, wait... Maybe that's just me. But you should, too. Really, it's fun! What are you guilty of singing into? A hairbrush? A spoon? Come on, you know you do it. What's that one song that comes on and no matter who is around you just HAVE to sing along?

Things I'm Thankful For Thursday

     I have been feeling incredibly down in the dumps lately. Nothing in particular, just a lot of little things that have been building up and building up and then one incident that was the straw on the camel's back. But seeing as how this is my "thankful" post, I'm not going to get into all that right now.

     Today, I am thankful for the people that I have in my life that make me smile. The ones who just know, that despite what I may say, that I am not ok. Some know just what to say to get me to smile, some know just what to do, while others I just have to think about to bring on a smile. There are a few in each category there, but there are VERY few who manage to do all three. These people especially, will have a place in my heart, for always. And I hope that I manage to bring them even half of the happiness that they bring me.

Cheddar Chicken Bacon Ranch Pasta

     I don't know where this recipe originally came from, or who came up with it, but they deserve a hardcore pat on the back. Ooey gooey, warm, cheesiness, with a just a hint of tang from the Ranch, the moist and tender chicken, and the bacon.. My God, who can forget about the bacon?!? UGH! This is the ultimate comfort food for a cold winter's night. I urge you to give this a try. Really. Go! Try it! Just be sure to come on back here and tell me what you think!

 You Will Need:

• 1) 1lb box whole wheat penne pasta (you can use regular white pasta too, if you'd like)
• 6 slices of bacon, or turkey bacon (tho my old man insists I use more next time.)
• 1/2 Tbsp light butter, (I used regular old butter)
• 2 good sized chicken breasts, cut into bite sized pieces
• 1 Tbsp flour
• 1/2 to 3/4 package of dry Ranch mix
• 1 cup skim milk
• 3/4 to 1 cup of shredded cheddar cheese (to your liking, I used a whole cup)
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 2 Tbsp grated Parmesan cheese

DIRECTIONS:

1. In a large pot of salted boiling water, cook your pasta according to the directions on the box.
2. In a large skillet, cook your bacon until it is nice and crispy. Remove to a paper towel to soak up some of that grease. Remove all BUT 1 Tbsp of the bacon drippings from your pan.
3. Add your butter into the pan with the bacon dripping and once melted, throw your chicken in with it. Let it cook over medium low heat until the chicken is done.
4. While the chicken is cooking, crumble your bacon into pieces. I just bust out my trusty kitchen scissors and hack it into little pieces. Set it aside for now. Seriously, BACK AWAY FROM THE BACON! Do not eat it yet. Good things come to those who wait. In this case, bacony goodness, comes to those who wait.
5. Sprinkle your garlic powder, flour and Ranch seasoning over the chicken and toss it around to coat evenly.
6. Stir in the milk, giving it a good stir. Let this continue to cook, stirring occasionally, until thick and bubbly. This took about 5 minutes for me.
7. Stir in your cheddar cheese, Parmesan cheese and 3/4 of the bacon. Cook and stir for another minute or two, just until the cheese is totally melted. Sprinkle with a touch of salt and pepper and give it one more good mixing. 
8. Serve it up, top each serving with the remaining bacon. Now sit back and wait for the "holy fucking yum!"s to commence. But hopefully not from your kiddies. Cuz that's never good.

Descent

Further she descends
Deeper and deeper into the abyss
She pulls the covers over her head,
Shutting out the light that blinds her
Closing off her heart, 

she turns away from the hope that will inevitably cause her pain
Praying to one day find peace,
But knowing that today is not that day,
For today only brings more grief
And tomorrow only promises more heartache,
So she pulls the covers over her head,
And further she descends.

©RyanAnn LiveLaughLoveBake

Another Piece Gone...

     Today I went into the garage to have a smoke with the old man. Just too damn cold out to smoke out in the open. I huddled by the little heater, lit my cigarette, inhaled and froze. My eyes fixed on this big empty space in front of me. It was gone. My father's chair was gone. A million thoughts raced through my head, falling dead before I could even put them to words. I felt another piece of my heart shatter and fall away. I felt tears pricking at my eyes as I desperately tried to shove this all down.

• Me: "Where'd it go?"
• Mr: "Where'd what go?"
• Me: "No, really."
• Mr: "Where did WHAT go?"
• Me: "Don't fucking do that.. Where the fuck did it go?"
• Mr: "Don't worry about it."

     I'm sure he was trying to protect me from the pain of hearing that he had tossed my father's chair into a dumpster somewhere. But it didn't work. I'm not stupid, It took me all of 3 seconds to figure it out. I know that the chair was in terrible shape to begin with. And his total mess of a garage had so warmly invited critters in from the cold to huddle under the masses of garbage and other miscellaneous shit. He said a squirrel had torn it up the underside of it. No shit, I warned you that was going to happen. I've been on you for 2 years to get the damn garage cleaned out... Nevermind, I'm not even gonna go there right now.

     Anyways, we had previously had a conversation about the chair a month or so back. I had told him that I knew the chair needed to get thrown out, and that one day, it would. But that I was NOT ready for it to happen yet. Which is why it was such a shock to see it gone. I get that it was not my father and that it was just a chair. But you see, that was one of VERY few pieces of my dad that I had left. My dad sat in that chair every single day for I can't even tell you how long. He held my kiddies on that chair. We had countless conversations while he sat in that chair. We watched the 9/11 coverage as it happened while he sat in that chair. So many stories he told me from that chair. When he got sick and the paramedics were checking him out, he was in that chair. I remember thinking how terribly tiny he looked in it that day That was the last chair my dad ever sat in, besides an occasional hospital chair. I had always kinda hoped to find a way to have it redone.

     And the tears came. Mike stood up and hugged me for a minute. And when I just stood there, he offered "You can hug me back ya know.", but I couldn't lift my arms to hug him back. I couldn't find words. I just stood there motionless and cried. I cried hard. I could feel my whole body shaking from holding back the intense urge to scream. Not words, just to scream. To release this sudden wave of unfiltered pain. I'm not sure how, but I held it in.

     To take something, no matter what it was, that meant so much to me, that held so many memories for me, that I was not ready to part with, and throw it away without even mentioning it, is NOT ok. I would never think to do that to someone. Again, I know it was just a chair, but the intense grief that I feel over losing it is no joke. I can't stop crying. I feel so numb, so alone, so completely fucking devastated. So betrayed.

     Will I get over it? Of course. But it is going to take time.

One of the MANY reasons why I love my L

     It was really cold outside and we had the baby with us, so we were sitting in the van while waiting for M's football game to begin. One of L's favorite songs came on the radio, and she went to town. SO glad I caught this on video. She truly makes my heart happy.

Sometimes I wish I had the perks of being the husband...

     Well, no. I take that back. Clarification: I wish I had the perks of being the husband of a really good wife. Not one of those really selfish, uptight broads. You know, the ones that talk to/treat their husband like a child, that don't ever cook, that spend all the money left and right, expecting only the finest houses, gifts, vacations... etc. Then, after all of that, still doesn't give up a piece of ass and put out? Cuz, ummm, yeah. That would fucking suck.

     I really just mean that... I don't know what I mean. I'm tired, mentally and physically, and need a break. Sometimes I just wish that I could be the husband and work all day then come home and kick my feet up while someone cooks me a damn awesome dinner, cleans up after me, asks me about my day, takes care of all the kiddie related shit sparing me from having to do it, bitch and moan when things aren't done right but never have to attempt to do them myself...

     Now, before I sound like a total bitch, let me just say this. I am very appreciative of the fact that I have a husband that busts his ass at work all day so that I have the opportunity to stay home with the kiddies. And I totally understand that after working all day, he is tired when he gets home and wants to sit and unwind for a bit. I absolutely get that, hell, I encourage him to try and unwind. Everyone needs a chance to unwind, especially after a long day.

     The problem, tho my friends, is that, "Hello! I need a fucking break too, sometimes!" While I don't work outside of the home, being a full time mama is damn hard. I don't sit on my ass, watching tv while eating bon bons all day. I don't get time off. I'm on call 24/7/365. I don't get to be sick and be able to focus my energy on recuperating. I get to be sick and continue on like nothing is wrong. Which is probably why it takes me so long to get over even the slightest cold. I deal with the good, the bad, the ugly, the disgusting, so that you don't have to. I get to teeter over the metaphorical edge of my breaking point, while metaphorical people keep handing me metaphorical boulders to hold. All while being expected to keep my mouth shut and continue on. Not that I always keep my mouth shut, because that my friends, would be a lie. lol

     I know this was one hell of a rant and I'm sorry for that. In fact, this whole post was originally only going to consist of that very first paragraph. Guess I just had a lot that I needed to get out. In the end tho, I deal what I deal with because I love my family. They are my world and I'll find a way to deal with whatever gets thrown my way. It sure keeps my life exciting! Every now and then tho, I need to spew forth everything that I keep bottled up inside. Bottles only hold so much before they need to be emptied, you know. And now that I have unloaded some of the weight from my shoulders, I feel better and I can go about my day feeling a bit lighter and breathing a bit easier.

     If you could trade places with your spouse for a day, would you? How would you do things differently? Which of your spouse's tasks do you think you would most struggle with? Which of your tasks do you think your spouse would most struggle with?

     I leave you with this gem.