Whole30 Day 14.. The Day From Hell..

Ohhhh man.. If ever there was a day that was trying to throw me off left and right, today was that day. 

We had Luna come out to install our kitchen floor. I accepted that I wouldn't be able to go into the kitchen for a couple hours, and that was ok. As long as I got breakfast before the installer came. I took out some eggs and got a pan ready, and as soon as I turned on the burner, my doorbell rang. Daaaamn it. So I hurry up and throw a couple pieces of fruit into a bowl with a hard boiled egg. I toss a Larabar into my pocket just in case he's here a while. Thank God I did...

Here begins our tale:

Installer shows up and within 5 minutes, asks me to fill out and sign paper work before the job is done so he can get that out of the way. He starts to pull up the tile and says "oh. You have two layers of tile? My order is to remove only one." I said "yes, there's two and we paid to have both removed." (We had lifted up a tile to show the salesman there's two layers. He even knelt down to look closer agreed. We had had an entire conversation about what kind of tile the first layer was.) Installer tells me "no, my order is for only one. If I have to do two, I have to call the office. That's an extra charge." -__-

Then, he looks at my kitchen counter/cabinets and says "is this tighted to the wall?" I tell him that it is screwed into the wall. He says "ohhh. This has to come out. You have to clear the counter top off and empty all the cabinets and drawers. Then I need to "untight" it and tear out the floor there. Then put it back in. Extra charge and extra day of work." -______-

Now, the salesman can't start work till he gets a payment approval number. This meant playing phone tag with my mom at work. Calling Luna several times. This all took 2 hours. And I was already hungry. 

-___________-

6 hours later, he finally left. Our floor wasn't even put in yet. He's gotta come back tomorrow to actually lay the floor.

I was so freaking hungry at this point, I just wanted to cry. THESE are the moments that I just wish I could say "screw it" and order a pizza. Or send the hubster out for fast food. Well, I mean, I could. But Lucy and I couldn't eat it. And that would suck having to smell it.

I wound up just throwing some chicken breasts, potatoes, and green beans together to roast in the oven.

If he's coming back tomorrow, I've gotta make sure I'm prepared food wise. Cuz this is crazy!

Onto Day 15...

Whole30 Day 13.. Is It Over Yet??

No? Not yet? I'm only on Day 13? Well, crap.

It honestly feels like I've been on this Whole30 for 30 years already. Lol It's just dragging on and on. At least I'm feeling better than I have in yeeeears, right?

I think that Sundays are the hardest day of w30 for me. Mostly because that is the only day of the week that my hubster is home when I wake up in the morning. Which means that he gets up and makes coffee. And sometimes, he'd even pour me a cup, bring it upstairs, and put it on my nightstand. Probably hoping the smell would wake me up and I'd wake up and cook. But still. Once I was up, it was nice to sit and have coffee together. I guess I could still drink it but I just can't stomach it black anymore. And Coconut milk tastes disgusting in coffee. At least to me, anyways. I just don't understand how people like it. And that whole Bulletproof coffee phase? Yeah, I don't get what all the "it's so delicious" fuss is about. On what planet?! Cuz to me, it tastes like dirt. Sorry not sorry.

Oh well, I'm almost halfway through this. Just gotta hold out a bit longer.

Day 13, over and out.

Whole30 Day 12... The art of distraction..

I've been thinking about everything lately. Literally everything. But mostly food and all the foods I want. I've also been a little on the emotional side today. I'm seeing lately, how much I used to eat my emotions away. And when you stop doing that, guess what? You really start feeling those feelings.

I've been working through each emotion as it hits, but sometimes you just need a break! 

Enter: the art of distraction. Drawing, writing, dancing around like a total dork, exercise... I've been doing a lot of that stuff. But sometimes you just need good company. That was me tonight. So I hung out with some great friends. Before I knew it, I was back in the moment instead of swimming in a stormy sea of thoughts.

I feel like that was a much needed mental reset for me. Lol

 I've stayed on track through every bite and drink and while it's been harder than I expected, it's also been easier than I expected, too! And I mean, hello? I've made it 12 days already! That means I've blown my last attempt out of the water- by 11 and a half days. Woooo Hoooo!

Day 13- I'm coming to getcha!!

Whole30 Day 11... What is this- Temptation Island?!?

I woke up this morning feeling really good. I got to sleep in a bit because my hubster took his day off of work. This is a rare thing. That man works his ass off. It was nice to have him home, but my first thought?

"Yesssss! He took his day off! That means we're getting Dunkin Donuts Caramel Lattes! Scoooooore!!!"

Directly followed by the realization:
"Crap. Nope. I can't have that right now. Daaaamn it."

But he sure got one, didn't he? And God love him, he even called to ask if I wanted anything. "I can't have anything from there." To which he says "oh! How about a bagel? You can have a bagel, right?" *insert huge face palm here*

Don't. I. Wish.

Then we were invited to my Mother In Law's house for a little get together. She was going to order pizza or fried chicken for dinner. Now, I have been doing great but I didn't quite feel strong enough to not have a piece or two. Even if I had gotten something else, the smell would've driven me bat shit crazy.

I started a new workout today and I'm super excited about it! DDP Yoga! I've always been a huge fan of Diamond Dallas Page (well, except when his character threw my favorite character Otis out a window in the Devil's Rejects. Not cool, man. Not. Cool. Lmaooo) I wasn't really sure what to expect, I mean, it is yoga. Don't get me wrong, I love me some yoga. But would it be enough to accomplish what I need to accomplish? After my first workout tho, I knew that it would! I can't wait to see where this takes me!

Forward march! Onto Day 12!!

(Pic: I forgot to take a pic of my lunch, but it was chicken breast, hard boiled eggs, and a few cashews.)

Whole30 Day 10.. Double digits and a Hallelujah!

HALLELUJAH!!!! I've made it to double digits! This is so incredibly exciting for me because the last time I attempted a Whole30 I gave up and quit halfway through the first day. So this? This is huge for me.

Buuuuuut, on the other side of the coin? I'm only one third of the way through this. Whaaaat? I swear I've been doing this for like, 10 years already!

I'm definitely finding my groove, which is the best part. It's making things so much easier to not have to second guess everything.

My energy was pretty high today until around noon. Then I felt myself starting to crash. Times like that I miss my coffee. But I refuse to drink it black or with coconut milk. My tummy can't handle it black anymore and the coconut milk in it? Yeah, that's just nasty! I've tried to make myself like it, or even be able to tolerate it. Nope, nope, nopeity, nope! Not happening. But by about 1:30, my energy started going back up. Thank you, Jesus!

Onto Day 11!!

Whole30 Day 9... That time roller derby saved my ass..

Today was a daaaamn good day! I walked into the kitchen looking for a compliant snack. A few cashews or one of the compliant Larabars, just something small to tide me over till dinner. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 3:45pm. It suddenly struck me that not only do I walk into the kitchen looking for a snack everyday at that exact time, but also that I wasn't hungry. I wonder how many days of how many months of how many years I went into the kitchen looking for a snack at that time without even being hungry! SUCH an eye opener!

This afternoon, I went outside to pull my truck off the street cuz the plow was coming. I slipped on the sloppy wet snow and my legs FLEW out from under me. My arms were flailing like I was at a late-night rave. My body literally turned in midair and somehow I managed to turn myself back. As I was coming back down, I bent my legs and got into derby stance to try and land upright while absorbing the shock. And that's exactly how I landed. Which was awesome. Until my fucking feet slid out from under me again so I turned my fall into a 6 point fall/slide. (Think a baseball slide- onto your knees then elbows then you slide forward with your wrists and hands.)
My back is sore but daaaamn that could've been worse. THANK YOU DERBY for teaching me to regain balance when in a crazy falling situation and how to fall safely when a fall can't be avoided.

Derby: saving lives every day. LMFAOOOOO Btw- if anyone saw me, I hope you recorded that shit so I can see it.

Btw- Today's meals have been brought to you by "damn it, I reeeeally need to go grocery shopping. STAT!"

Whole30 Day 8.. Finding my groooove.

I honest to goodness cannot get over how amazing I feel. My energy is steadily going up up up, I'm falling asleep more quickly, staying asleep for longer, and waking up actually feeling well rested. Imagine that!! Lol

Although I still am spending a lot of time in the kitchen, I don't feel like it's consuming my day anymore. Making school lunches for the kiddies the first few days took a good 35 minutes (at least) cuz I just couldn't come up with a good game plan. Now I can have everyone's lunches packed in 15 minutes and they are nutritious and yummy. Score!

I'm finding myself scouring the net trying to find inspiration for meals but my kiddies and hubster are so picky that nothing is jumping out at me. So I'm really winging it and coming up with my own stuff. That's also getting easier and easier.

My hubster and kiddies were worried about the kind of foods they were going to have to eat on this, and honestly, so was I. But we're not suffering. (Tho I still want some damn bread. And cheese.) In fact, I'm really enjoying this way of eating. I know I still have a ways to go and may change my mind, but I'm really considering continuing with another Whole30 after I finish this one. I'm feeling THAT good!

Whole30 Day 7.. Crazy Dreams and Shattered Lids

I've heard that crazy dreams are par for the course on the Whole30, but maaaan I really had the craziest dream last night!

I was competitive swimming through a swamp. I wanted the gold medal but every foot forward I swam, an alligator was trying to attack me. I had to constantly fight him off. Yes, it was a him. I know this because he told me his name was Stan. No joke. Wth, right? Lol I had almost gotten to the end of the race and I heard a scream. I turned and saw the alligator behind me with my daughter in his mouth. I turned back, pulled her from his mouth, set her on a beach chair on top of the water, and then began an epic battle with him. As I'm about to deliver the final blow, suddenly I'm in a meeting with Johnny Depp. Who by the way is the President. Say whaaaat? He tells me that the world is under attack by zombie alligator men and that the fate of the world depends on me. To save the world, I have to eat an entire "death by chocolate" molten lava cake. By myself. The cake was the size of a family size pizza. I dutifully sat down and began eating the cake. After all, the world was counting on me. Every single bite I took, I sobbed because I knew the cake was not Whole30 compliant. And then I woke up. Crazy, right?!?

I woke up feeling pretty good, but tired because I went to bed late. I made a yummy breakfast, cleaned up a bit, and then threw 2 beautiful pot roasts into my slow cooker. Went about my day as usual. Around 4:00 pm I walked into the kitchen and glanced at my 5 month old slow cooker only to see that the lid, still intact, had somehow shattered into a thousand pieces. There were a few tiny pieces of glass missing too, which meant that my roasts and veggies now contained glass. Noooooooo!!! I had no back up plan for a quick dinner. I cried. What's a girl to do?!? I knew fast food was out of the question so I placed a carry out order with a local steakhouse. My wallet hurt after that, but luckily we had the extra money and I was able to stay on track food wise. I came home and took everyone's meals out of their containers and put them on plates and we at the table and ate our rather expensive but compliant meal.

All that said, my cravings were almost nonexistent today, and I wasn't really hungry between meals. I'm super impressed by that! Lol Know what all that means? Yep, you got it! I made it through Day 7 and am ready for Day 8. One whole week done! YAAAAAAAAY!!!

Whole30 Day 6... Kill ALL The Things..

Ohhhh, Day 6, you sneaky bastard...

I know that different people react differently on the Whole30 and some people don't experience what the time line suggests. I myself have definitely not experienced things the way the time line suggests. I have yet to have an extremely tired day and I haven't experienced "the hangover" yet. But I'm starting to wonder if maybe I have gone through it but just didn't realize it because feeling crappy is my normal. Does that make sense? Like, my "normal" is so crappy already so I wouldn't recognize that I'm suddenly feeling crappy? I don't know...

What I DO know is that today I woke up feeling good. And literally by the time I got downstairs I was in the worst mood ever. No joke.

This is what the Whole30 Website says:

"Days 4-5: Kill ALL the things! Day 4 dawns and you tentatively step out of bed, expecting to feel like you took a strike from Thor’s hammer in the temple. Instead, your head is surprisingly clear. Your limbs all feel functional. This could be a good day! You walk into the kitchen and as you’re greeted by the smiling face of your significant other you are suddenly overcome…with the desire to punch them in the face for smiling this early in the morning. Congratulations! You’ve made it to day 4!"  

This was entirely accurate except this is my Day 6. I was getting snippy with my mom and irritated with the kiddies. I got a headache that just didn't want to go away so I made breakfast for everyone and went back upstairs to try and sleep it off. Didn't work. I woke up, (still with the headache) made a late lunch, and then proceeded to chew my poor hubster out. I yelled at him, for no real good reason. I immediately realized today must be "Kill All The Things" and started crying. I went upstairs to apologize to the hubster for being a bitch and started crying more. I couldn't stop.

Shortly after, I had to leave for a meeting for roller derby and then I had practice. Know where the meeting was at? Dunkin Donuts. What have I been craving almost non stop since I started this Whole30? Yup. A huge Dunkin Donuts coffee and a coffee roll or three. Soooo, guess what I wound up getting myself? Nothing. That's right, I didn't get a daaaamn thing. I'm pretty proud about that!

I didn't do anything at practice tonight. I just couldn't get out of my head/mood. I'm feeling very discouraged with my progress with Derby but I need to not focus on that right now while I'm not in my right mind.

Loooong story cut a bit shorter, I made it through Day 6. Onto Day 7, baby. Bring. It. Onnnnn.

Whole30 Day 5.. You GOTTA read those labels!

Today was a daaaamn good day! I was up earlier than usual for a Saturday morning and my cravings were almost non existent today! I'm also not feeling nearly as hungry between meals, which is great!

I'm still expecting to get hit with the detox hangover any day now, tho hoping I get lucky and skip that stage. Lol

My middle kiddle is doing great. She's staying strong and it's paying off. She sleeps better at night and wakes up better in the morning. Her "Buddha" belly is starting to go away, too! She's pretty excited about that.

The biggest eye opener so far has been how much crap is added to everything. Why do we need to add sugar to bacon? And why is there sugar in bagged potatoes and frozen shredded hash browns? Why is there soy in canned tuna??? Cellulose is parmesan cheese? (To prevent caking, I know. But that's wood pulp, people!) I use to add parm to everything. We can't always afford the good stuff, but from now on, when we can't afford the good real parm cheese, we will go without! Just when you think you're making a "safe" purchase, you see a sneaky ingredient. Ridiculous!!! 

Ok, enough of my bitching. Onto Day 6!!! Forward march!! :D

Whole30 Day 4.. Take THAT, cupcake.

Holy smokes, people! Today I woke up about an hour before my alarm. And I felt refreshed and ready to go go go! That is huuuge!!

I was so freaking hungry today. Like, I just want to eat everything. My cravings are a bit less, but definitely still there.

The BEST news tho, is that someone had a birthday in my middle kiddle's classroom today and they brought cupcakes. My amazing daughter turned. it. down!! While I'm kinda sad she didn't get to partake, I'm so beyond proud of her! That takes some serious will power! I had a nice little heart to heart with her about it, tho, because while it's an amazing achievement, I don't want her to grow up obsessing over "good" foods and "bad" foods. I don't want her to know that struggle. I want her to know that you can allow yourself treats and shouldn't feel guilty when you do. I want her healthy in body AND mind. 

I'm excited to kiss Day 4 goodbye and welcome Day 5!

Whole30 Day 3.. Maybe I should just move into the bathroom?

I have to tell you that I was really dreading today. Days 2 and 3 are very often considered "the Hangover" days where you just feel like total crap. So far, I've gotten lucky and feel pretty good.

Well, except for when it felt like my stomach and liver were doing the lambada and had me in the bathroom for half the day. I was seriously afraid to leave the house. There was no grace period where the stomach pain hit and you have some time to get to a bathroom. Noooo, the stomach pain hit and I ran my ass to the bathroom. Every freaking time. Detoxing much? Not fun, my friends, not fun.

My middle kiddle is doing great. She's enjoying all the foods and seems to be feeling pretty good.

I'm pretty sure my 16 year old is cheating. This one is going to be harder than I anticipated. Lol

The hubster is still "on board". He's drinking creamer in his coffee and having an occasional pop still, but not neeearly what he had been consuming before. So while he's not being "compliant" I still call that a win.

Onto Day 4!

Whole30 Day 2.. For the love of God, someone please bring me a Coffee Roll!!

Today has been a rough one. From the moment I woke up I was hit by craving after craving. 

Seriously, from the moment I opened my eyes this morning, all I wanted was a giant Dunkin Donuts Caramel Latte and a coffee roll. No, make that two coffee rolls. My mouth was watering just thinking about them and I swear I could practically taste them. So crazy because I haven't had one in almost a year! 

This afternoon it was bread and butter. Or a dinner roll and butter. Or a croissant and butter. Hell, I'd have settled for a warm tortilla and butter. Oooooh, or that delicious bread and butter from that amazing steakhouse? Yessss, I'll take that, please! 

This evening I wanted coffee, brownies, cake, more coffee, chips, Mac n cheese, and some more coffee. And maybe another coffee roll.

See what I mean when I say craving after craving? And not just like,  "ohhh that sounds good right now".  No, like every cell in my body was screaming for it. All. Of. It.  Ugh! 

And the headaches, ohhhhhh the headaches. Not cool! All that said, I'm amazed to say this, but I made it through. Day 2 is officially over.

The kiddies both did great today. No snacking on non-compliant stuff. (At least to my knowledge) I'm nervous to see what tomorrow will bring, but I'm ready. I think. I KNOW I'm ready for bed tho, so till tomorrow- nighty night!

Whole30 Day 1... WHAT... have I gotten myself into??

My family and I are at the end of Day 1 of our Whole30 Challenge. To say that we have a very wide range of emotions running through our house would be a massive understatement.

Taking it the best of all of us (by far!) is my 12 year old daughter. I pretty much expected this because she loves almost all "healthy" foods. She has always been the type to choose fruits and veggies over sugary snacks, tho over the last year or two her sugar snacking has increased. Since she was a toddler, she had the "Buddha belly". We figured she'd outgrow it, but as she's gotten older it hasn't gone away. She is very self conscious about it and gets made fun of. Kids can be so damn cruel. We are hoping this challenge will help us determine if it's from a food sensitivity or not.

My 16 year old son isn't exactly happy about the challenge. But I think that he has the most to potentially gain from this. Our hopes for him is that this helps break his sugar addiction. At 16, there is only so much we can do at home. We're not at his school to make sure he's not eating crap. I also think this will help him a lot for wrestling.

We're not making our 3 year old do this as strict as we are. I just don't think she's old enough. I know that some may disagree but I know my child. She is so incredibly picky. So we are just looking to improve her eating and find more foods that she likes.

The Hubster isn't exactly fully on board, tho he's going to try. He is ok with the food changes but doesn't want to drink his coffee black or give up his soda pop. He's promised to cut back a lot on how much he's drinking. Time will tell.

As for me... I think I'm going to have the hardest time of all. I am pretty certain that I have issues with dairy which is the hardest for me to give up. I just want some cheese, damn it. On top of the Whole30, I am also attempting to quit my pack a day smoking habit. That's my biggest struggle at this exact moment. Going cold turkey was a bit overkill for me with everything else I'm giving up so I'm allowing myself 5 cigarettes each day. As time goes on I'll decrease that more and more. So far so good and I still have one left.

I am not looking forward to this part because I withdraw from nicotine very harshly. As I sit and type this out, I'm shaking. This is the point that I gave up on my first/last attempt at Whole30/quitting smoking. I tried it a year ago? Maybe? I made it half way through Day 1 and couldn't stop panicking and crying. So I quit. I'm determined to do it this time. Well, I'm further than I got last time. Moving on to Day 2....

What Is Love?

Baby don't hurt me.. Don't hurt me... No more... *Insert awesomely lame dance sequence here*

     Oh shit. How long have you been there? I wasn't dancing! Really. You saw nothing. Got it? Great, let's move on.

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, and lovey-dovey-make-me-wanna-puke crap is everywhere I turn, I suppose now is a good time to take a moment to reflect on Love. I think it's pretty safe to say that everyone has their own personal definition of love. While I think that "Love" is really a bit of a sadist, I'll play nice.. This is just my take.

What I think Love is:

• The smile that you find plastered across your face every single time you think of that special person.

•  Counting the minutes until you get to be in their arms again. And never wanting to leave once your safe and sound in them.

• The fluttering feeling you get deep in your tummy when you see them. You know, the one that gets so intense you fear you may just projectile vomit live butterflies across the room. 

• That tingle of electricity that courses through your body at the slightest touch. Especially when they take your hand in theirs. Even for the millionth time.

• Looking into their eyes and seeing your love returned to you, ten fold.

• Knowing that you will love that person just as much, if not more, when you are old and grey and screaming at them to turn up their damn hearing aide.

• Wanting only the best for them, even if the best for them doesn't include you.

What I think Love should really be:

• Waking your tired ass up with the baby so that she can catch up on some much needed sleep.

• Not bitching at him for leaving the damn toilet seat up. Again. Even after you sit down and fall in.

• Wrangling the lil monsters up so she can piss...in...peace.

• Letting him have his "Guy Time" without texting or calling him every 10 minutes to see when he'll be home.

• Offering to wash the damn dishes after she cooks you an awesome meal. Better yet? Buy her a dishwasher, damn it.

• After a long hard day at work, bring him a nice cold beer and give him a nice long shoulder and back rub. Listen when he tells you about his day.

• After a long hard day with the kiddies, bring her a cold shot of Jameson and give her a nice back rub. Ask her about her day. And actually listen, no matter how much detail she goes into about peas and carrots, or cheerios and puke. Better make that a double.

• Not scrunching up your nose and asking "what the fuck died in here??" when he takes his shoes off.

• Taking her into your arms and telling her how beautiful she is. Even when she has the aforementioned peas smeared across her shirt and cheerios in her hair.

•  Pay him a compliment once in a while. Tell him how hot you think he is after so many years. How gorgeous his eyes are, how much you love his strong arms, how his smile makes you smile. We don't compliment our men enough. They do like to hear these things too, ya know!

• Tell her how much you appreciate all that she does to keep your house running smooth. The cooking, the cleaning, tending to the kiddies. Cleaning up puke. Dancing like a goof to celebrate a lil one successfully taking a crap in the potty without picking it up to play. Too damn often we feel taken for-granted. And a whooole lot of trouble starts with that.

• And ladies, tell him how much you appreciate how hard he busts his ass at work for you and your family. They need to hear that.

     Above all else: Yes, say I love you. Say it often. But try and SHOW it even more than you SAY it. Actions really do speak louder than words.