Low Carb Pizza

I'm a sucker for a pizza. I don't care what toppings, deep dish or thin crust. Bring me a delicious pizza and I'm a happy camper.

Rewind 5 years... when I was pregnant with my youngest kiddo, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Because of that,  I had to really watch my carb intake. No pizza?? I was crushed! Then I discovered tortilla pizzas. It fit my needs perfectly at the time. (And dude, it was so freaking yummy!)

Fast forward to today. I'm not diabetic, but I have discovered that my body has issues with carbs. (What the hell, body?! You couldn't have issues with something I don't love and cherish?!) So I dug into researching the low carb lifestyle. I'm in love with it. But... this broad still needs her pizza!! What to do... what to do?!

I've tried quite a few low carb pizza crust recipes and, well, they just don't suit my taste!! Most cauliflower crusts I've tried are just soggy and fall apart. Yeeeeah, nice try, but that's not pizza, man. It has to come as close to the real thing as possible or else I'm going into stubborn 3 year old mode and I'm... not... eating... that.

But this one? Let me just tell you.. this one is the closest I have come to regular pizza without all the carbs. And it's damn delicious.  If you are anything like me, you very well may look at your "dough" halfway through mixing it and think "man, I screwed up... No way is this going to work.."

But don't give up. Just keep going. It will totally pull itself together as it bakes and you will be that much closer to low carb pizza Heaven.

Check out the recipe HERE. Seriously. Go!! I'll still be here!

Obviously nutritional info will vary based on what toppings you choose. I made mine with mozzarella, spinach, feta, 
and a little pico de gallo on top. 

The nutritional info for my pizza based on my toppings (the whole thing) was: 
calories: 616
fat: 40 g
protein: 53.9 g
net carbs: 10.4 g

Seriously, I cannot recommend this recipe enough. Both my mom and I couldn't get over how amazingly delicious this was. (And ummm have I mentioned that I'm not a fan of cauliflower unless it's  like cauliflower rice and super crazy flavored up? Yeah.) If you have ever tried a cauliflower crust recipe and been terribly let down, run- don't walk- run to your kitchen and make this. 

Then come on back here to the comment section and tell me what you think!! 


...Why are you still here? Go make this stuff! Go on!!

Going Keto..

Around this time last year, I was doing a Whole 30 Challenge. I knew that something I had been eating wasn't agreeing with my body and I needed to figure out what it was. I successfully completed the challenge and upon reintroducing food groups I noticed that I felt like crap after eating many of them. So I still didn't have a solid idea of what the problem food was.

That is, until now. 

I had been really mindful of everything I had been eating and started suspecting that my body didn't agree with carbs. I brushed it off and figured that was crazy. But I constantly felt like crap. I mean, headaches every day, beyond tired all the damn time.. not just tired but full body and mind exhaustion. I was crabby. I was constantly bloated. I'm talking insanely bloated. And this would happen any time I ate beyond a certain number of carbs, whether they were "good" carbs or "bad". And I couldn't seem to drop weight and keep it off no matter what I did. I'd lose 5 and gain 3. Lose 10 and gain 15. Could carbs really be my issue? Surely I was crazy?! I mean, I had always preached about how carbs are absolutely necessary for our bodies. So how could this be?

The only thing I knew for sure was that I was seriously a hot mess.
(check out the awesome headband. My derby wives and I have matching ones! teehee!_

ALL ABOOOOOARD THE HOT MESS EXPRESS! CHOO CHOO!!

So one day I happened upon a random quiz that was supposed to tell you your personal #1 metabolic killer. I took the quiz, which asked things like when do I eat, how often do I eat, and if/how I exercise, what is my biggest struggle with exercising, etc.. I then got the results based on my answers and I was floored. I'm a "muscle burner" and my #1 metabolic killer is... Carbs. Go figure. My body is addicted to carbs and literally can't get enough of them to feel satisfied. As I listened to the video with my results, lightbulbs were going off left and right in my mind.

"This is why you probably go all day without eating before realizing you haven't eaten." Yes!

"This is why no matter what you do, the weight just won't budge." Duuude. Yes.

"You crash from not eating often enough and you are hit with mood issues, especially anxiety and the inability to sleep." Yessss.

"This is why you are constantly tired and nothing helps." Ummm yup!

"This is why a normal serving, or even two or three, of carb heavy foods don't satisfy you. You can eat and eat and eat carbs and NEVER feel satisfied even tho you are more than full." Ohhh my gawd yes!!! A thousand times yes!

Ok, so maybe I wasn't crazy after all. I've taken many quizzes before and always took the results with a grain of salt. Cuz nothing was ever dead on accurate. Except this time. This time was like someone had a direct view into my brain. And it really confirmed what I had suspected all along.

So I decided to research low carb living. Even further, I researched Keto. I had a feeling that I was onto something with this so I just jumped right in. I never realized just how many carbs I had been eating (and drinking!) on a daily basis. This is a pic of one of my typical days logged on My Fitness Pal. 

LOOK AT THOSE CARBS!!!

No freaking wonder I felt like crap! Who the hell eats like that?! Especially when they weren't even eating 3 times a day!! And of course this included an extra large iced latte here, a can of Monster there... Oy!!

This is how I'm eating now. Yes, high fat, moderate protein, and very low carbs. 

And guess what? It's working. 

I have officially been eating the Keto way for almost 3 weeks. And let me tell you, I feel amazing. The first day and a half was hard. I just wanted carbs. Alllll of the carbs. In my mouth. NOW. But by day 3? I wanted nothing sweet. Nothing extra carby. My cravings completely disappeared. Like, I'm not kidding, completely gone! I was no longer constantly hungry. My brain wasn't foggy anymore. My energy shot up a lot. Now, when I eat, I'm full long before my food is gone. Yaaaay for leftovers!! It has been a bit of an adjustment because looking back, 90% of my food choices involved carbs. Plus, fat has really been demonized for so long so it was hard to wrap my brain around eating so much fat- but I'm eating good fats. And ya know what? This has been the easiest way of eating I've ever done. I'm eating delicious filling food. And my grocery bill didn't go up a ridiculous amount like it sometimes had in the past. Oh... and did I mention that I dropped 21 lbs in the first 2 weeks alone? 

Yeah, I was floored. My jaw actually dropped.

Now, am I saying that carbs are the devil and all must be avoided? Absolutely not. But what I am saying is that for me personally, excess carbs were a very serious issue for my body. And I'm doing great, feeling great, and I cannot wait to see where this takes me.

I'll keep you all updated as I go!!

Yummy Low Carb Taco Salad

After picking kiddos up from practices, running some last minute errands, and picking up the requested Taco Bell for the guys, I got home late and was famished. Smelling that food was killing me. I'm not a big fan of Taco Bell, but when I smell it, something in me snaps and I absolutely crave it. I needed something delicious, low carb, and I needed it quick. 

Enter, my Low Carb Taco Salad.

It may not look like much, but it seriously hit the spot and kept me away from the calorie bomb bell.

This made a huge batch (I mean, I used 2 freaking lbs of meat.) and after feeding myself and my middle kiddle, (and the hubster who ate a hefty bowl of it after finishing his bell) I still had enough for lunch for my mom and my hubster for the next day and a few lunches through the week for me.

SCORE!!

(This made 8 servings  for me)

• 2 lbs of 80% ground beef
• 8 cups shredded green leaf lettuce
• 8 oz cheddar cheese, shredded (from the block)
• 8 Tablespoons Pico de Gallo
• 1 Tablespoon Paprika
• 2 teaspoons coarse kosher salt
• 1 Tablespoon Chili Powder
• 1 Tablespoon Ground Cumin
• 8 Tablespoons Ken's Buttermilk Ranch Dressing (1 to 2 for each serving)

1. In a large skillet, brown your ground beef over medium-high heat and drain the excess fat.
2. Add your spices to the meat and stir well. Cook for 2 more minutes. (Taste it and feel free to add more of the spices to suit your taste. Just be sure to count them!)
3. In a bowl, add 1 cup of lettuce, 1 oz of shredded cheese, 1 Tbsp Pico de Gallo, and 1 to 2 Tbsp of the Ranch dressing. (nutritional info below is based on 2 Tbsp)
4. Mix it up, kick back, and enjoy!

For some reason, when I export this recipe from this page to my fitness pal, the numbers come up different. But when I entered in all of my ingredients into My Fitness Pal for this recipe when I made it, this is the Nutritional Info it gave me for EACH SERVING.

Calories: 559,  Carbs 4.9,  Fat 47.5,  Protein 27.9, Dietary Fiber 1.7g

(This is a screenshot of the numbers from when I entered it in when making the recipe.)

(Some of you may see the fat content and freak, but these numbers fit my macros perfectly and I'm steadily dropping weight while never being hungry. So I'll gladly take it.)

More Puzzle Fun

Another little puzzle I created. 

This time, with our not-so-little-anymore puppy, Mazzy.

Look how damn adorable she was as an itty bitty puppy!!

Isn't she such a freaking cutie? while she's a ton bigger now, 

she's still pretty damn cute. Which totally works to her advantage 

cuz let me tell you...She is crazy hyper. 

For real. 

Like insane.

Enjoy the puzzle. It's likely the only time you'll see her so calm.

Puzzle Fun...

Sooooo, I found this website that lets you create your own puzzles online- for free.

Which is awesome, because I am always looking for time killers. They keep me occupied while I'm waiting for kids to come out of school, or while I'm waiting for kids to come out of practice... I do a lot of waiting. And truth be told, I am not a patient person. So adding this to my boredom buster arsenal just makes me happy. Super happy. Giddy, almost.

I know, I'm lame. It's ok, I own it.

I took a painting that I recently did and turned it into a puzzle.
(I did a few, but this is the one I'm posting today.)

Just click the little Reload Arrow on the picture below and enjoy!

As Valentines Day Approaches..

Ahhhh... February is here and that means just one thing. Overpriced roses and chocolates are just around the corner.

I always tell my hubster NOT to bring me that crap. Don't get me wrong, it's sweet. I love flowers. And if you've ever seen the size of my ass, you'd know that I definitely love me some chocolate, too. BUT, as gifts that are supposed to say "I love you", that stuff is a no-no for me. The flowers? They're gonna fucking die. The chocolates? I'm going to wolf those fuckers down in a day or two and then be sad cuz they're all gone. Who am I kidding, they'll be gone that night. 

After being mommy all day every day to 2 teens and a 4 year old, and being a wife, a maid, a chef, a referee, a taxi service... etc.. ya know what I would really like to get? A night in a jacuzzi suite, by myself. I'll even supply my own bottle of Jack and eye patch. Seriously. I can get drunk as hell while soaking in the jacuzzi and pretending I'm a mother fucking pirate storming the high sea. Maybe I'll even Facebook Live that shit. (No, maybe I won't..) Then? I can crawl my ass over to the bed and pass the hell out with- gasp- the entire bed to myself. Ohhh Heavens yessss. 

Man, I must really sound like a total miserable bitch right now without a single romantic bone in my body, uh? That's just not true, tho! I can be quite the romantic, I swear. And to show you just how romantic I can be, check out these super sweet Valentines I created from the heart.

And my personal favorite:

What?? 

If you're gonna judge me, you're gonna have to start supplying the Jack.