Surprise!!

Life sure has a funny way of throwing wicked curveballs when you least expect them, doesn't it?

Last month we sent our firstborn off to college.

 I hit 80 lbs lost on my Keto/weight loss journey. 

Some good friends and I started a new roller derby team. 

Things are moving right along. Here I am, minding my own business... and BOOM!!

Keto Progress... August 2017

Just a quick comparison shot to update everyone on my progress with keto. Still going strong and loving it. 

Still a ways to go till I hit my goal, but I'm getting there!!

And so the first one leaves the nest...

I've had 18 years to prepare myself for this moment.. 18 long years. And then I blinked and here we are.. and I'm still not prepared. 

 My mind knows that this is a good thing.

Keto Crescent Rolls

Will you just look at that deliciousness right there?! Absolutely glorious, I tell you!

Have I ever told you that I had an obsession with bread? Like... A serious obsession. In a typical day I would have a bagel (or two) for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, I'd snack on some bread and butter while cooking dinner, and then with dinner I had to have some kind of bread. Rolls to dunk in my soup... Bread to sop up any extra sauce on my plate... Oh yes! 

Of course that was pre Keto. And for the most part I don't miss it. (Who have I become?!) But there is always an exception, isn't there? Like, tonight I made an Italian sausage lasagna bake and I simply cannot have lasagna without bread or rolls. I mean the lasagna was noodle free- isn't that enough?! I was determined to stick it out, tho. I do have goals after all. 

So I started thinking about fat head dough and how versatile it is. Hmmm... Could I turn it into crescent rolls? So I got to work whipping up a batch to test it out. Now, when I make Fathead dough I always omit the egg. 

There is a very important reason why I omit the egg. 

Are you ready for this?? 

Okay you got me. There's no important reason. I just forgot to add an egg while making it one time and quickly realized that it didn't really make a difference.

 So now I always just leave it out. 

Anyways I whipped up a batch of dough, rolled it out into a 12 x 9 rectangle, cut it into triangles, rolled them up, and threw those bad boys in the oven. 

While they didn't puff up quite as much as traditional crescent rolls they still turned out fantastic! And let me tell you I sopped up every bit of sauce on my plate with them. This makes me one very happy camper!

Want to make some of these delicious em effers yourself? It's so easy you won't believe it. So let's jump right it before I completely bore you to tears. 

• 1 and 3/4 cup of shredded mozzarella  (NOT the fresh ball kind. Buy the stuff in the bag, just make sure you get part skim for this)
• 3/4 cup super fine almond flour
• 2 Tbsp cream cheese (yes, full fat) 
• I  tsp garlic powder (optional) 
• 2 tsp dried parsley (optional) 

1. Preheat oven to 350°.
2. In a large bowl, add all of your ingredients. 
3. Mix it up a bit and pop it into the microwave for 1 minute. 
4. Give it a good stir and put back into the microwave for 30 more seconds. Remove and give it a really good stir until it resembles dough. (This really only takes about 20 to 30 seconds!)
5. Place a piece of parchment paper onto a baking sheet. Put your dough on top of the paper and place another sheet of parchment paper on top of the dough. 
6. Roll the dough into about a 12 x 9 rectangle. Remove top sheet of paper. 
7. Cut down the middle of the dough, long ways. Now, cut triangles down each half. (Think of how the canned crescent rolls are when you take em out of the can and unroll them. That's what you're going for.)
8. Roll each triangle up in crescent roll fashion. Don't press them down too tightly!
9. Bake for 6 to 10 minutes till golden.. Mine were done around 7 minutes, but yours could be more or less. So watch em!
10. Devour these and live happily keto after!!

(Because nutritional info varies greatly depending on what brands you use, if you need the nutritional info, plug the ingredients into an app like My Fitness Pal. Mine came out to 2.3 g Net Carbs. Again, yours may vary!)

I hope you try these and I hope you enjoy them. Be sure to come on back here and let me know what you think! I love hearing from you! 

Living La Vida Keto

Ok.. so now I have that Ricky Martin song stuck in my head.. I know, I have no one to blame but myself. 😂

A couple months ago I wrote about how I had started Keto and then I kinda dropped off the face of the earth. Well, the blogging earth, at least. So I thought I should get around to sharing my progress.

As of today, I have been living the Keto life for exactly 122 days and loving (almost) every minute of it. In my very first month, I lost a whopping 23 lbs! If course after that, things slowed down drastically. I'm not even gonna lie, I was a bit disappointed that it slowed down so much. I figured that because I weighed so much and had so much to lose, that I'd have at least a couple months of killer losses. That's not the case for me. But after some thought, I'm ok with that. 

My biggest hurdle in keto has been stalls and usually they are my own fault. To explain, I had a gnarly soda habit. To kick the soda, I drank Monster energy drinks. When I went keto, I was sad to give them up... till one day I found low carb Monster. I was elated!!

 About two months later,

Handling the Holidays While On A Weight Loss Journey

Holidays can be hard when you are eating healthy.  You get a million questions about why you eat what you eat, or don't eat what you don't eat, you get "helpful advice" left and right (and usually from the very people that really ought to be taking their own advice), you get guilt tripped to eat some things you know you shouldn't... etc...

Generally, there are two ways that people tend to go for holidays. 1) they decide to just enjoy the day and eat whatever they want, as much as they want. Or 2) they stay the course and do what they gotta do to crush their goals. (Tho sometimes, they might feel a bit deprived.)

Honestly, I've done both. I ate and ate and ate till I was stuffed. And I stuck to my plan and I felt so damn deprived. I'd damn near be whining in my head about all the yummy stuff that I couldn't have. Both of those ways just aren't any way to live. 

I was a bit worried about Easter dinner, but I decided to just make a plan and stick to it. Because going off plan would absolutely have left me feeling like hot dog crap. No good. I know my favorites/triggers, the ones that get me into trouble. So what did I do? I worked around it. I found substitutes that were better choices but beyond delicious and didn't leave me feeling deprived. 

I know that I love dips and cheese spreads. There were so many I could've made, but I decided on THIS ONE because it was just too freaking cute to pass up. And while I would've eaten a whole sleeve of crackers with it pre keto, I was actually more than satisfied eating it on my veggies. That's a win right there!

Mac and cheese or potatoes au gratin are huuuge triggers for me. If I eat them, no amount of will power can keep me from eating more and more and more.  So I made Loaded Cauliflower. And ya know what? It tasted like a cross between potatoes au gratin and twice baked potatoes (which is great cuz I'm not that fond of cauliflower) and was perfectly delicious and filling. It hit the spot just right. 

Dessert is another trigger for me.. I HAVE to have dessert at a holiday meal. So this year I opted for a Keto Pound Cake with a lemon glaze and topped with strawberries and whipped cream. It, too, hit the spot in all the right ways. 

So here I am, hours after dinner and dessert, still satisfied, and NOT feeling deprived. In fact, I'm feeling damn proud of the choices that I made. And I know that I am that much closer to making my goals a reality. 

Loaded Cauliflower Bake

THIS... Let me tell you about this ridiculously delicious piece of low carb Heaven right here:

First, let me start out by saying that I am not. a. big. fan. of cauliflower. Like, if I can taste straight up cauliflower, I probably won't eat it.

I'm sorry cauliflower, it's not you, it's me...

No, actually, it's totally you. I just don't like you. You've disappointed me one too many times. You'll be ok tho, there are plenty of people that love you...
Moving on...

This stuff is like a magical taste explosion in your piehole. And it hardly tastes like cauliflower at all!! In fact, I'd say it tastes more like a cross between potatoes au gratin and twice baked potatoes. Seriously, like freaking potatoes. I could write a love letter to potatoes here, but I won't. Cuz we totally broke up and things could get weird.

This is total comfort food. Totally delicious. And totally low carb. Let's dig in, shall we?

Our All Star Cast of Ingredients:

• 1 large head of cauliflower, chopped into small chunks
• 1/2 cup of sour cream
• 2 oz. of Cream cheese
• 1/2 cup Monterey Jack cheese, shredded
• 1/3 cup Parmesan cheese, grated
• 2 tsp garlic powder
• 1 Tbsp dried parsley
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 tsp black pepper
• 1/4 cup green onions, chopped
• 5 slices bacon, (cooked very crisp and crumbled)
• 1 cup sharp cheddar cheese 

1. Preheat oven to 350°. Grease, spray, or butter your baking dish and set aside. I used a 9x9 and it was perfect. 
2. Take your cauliflower chunks and place them in a microwave safe bowl with 2 Tbsp water and 2 Tbsp butter. Microwave until tender but not totally soft, stirring halfway through. This took about 8 minutes in my microwave. (Your time may vary based on your microwave and how big or small you chopped the cauli.)
3. Take the cauliflower out, let it cool for a couple minutes, and then mash it. You don't want it to be a smooth consistency. You want nice little chunks. Trust me on this. 
4. Mix in your sour cream, cream cheese, Parmesan, Monterey Jack cheese, garlic, parsley, salt, pepper, green onions, and bacon. Make sure you mix it well. 
5. Scoop your cauli mixture into your baking dish and top with the shredded sharp cheddar. Cover with tin foil and bake for 30 minutes. 
6. Remove the foil and bake just until the cheese has gotten nice and bubbly and slightly browned. 
7. Serve that bad boy up and wait for your taste buds to explode! And then come on back here and let me know what you think! 

If you loved it as much as I did, remember that sharing is caring. So please feel free to share this with others!

The Perfect Time To Lose Weight...

Let me ask you a question...

WHAT. ARE. YOU. WAITING. FOR?!?

Are you waiting for the perfect day to get back on track? Or maybe you are waiting for life to get a bit easier before you commit to getting back on track? 

 Here's the thing, my friends: That perfect day? It's TODAY. Right NOW. 

If you're waiting for life to get easier before you get back on track? I have some bad news for you: That's never gonna happen. LIFE'S TOUGH- GET A HELMET AND DO THE DAMN THING! 

You probably already know this, but I'm going to say it anyways.. Waiting leads to more waiting which leads to... you guessed it: even more waiting. And suddenly it's next week, and then two months have passed by, and before you know it a year has come and gone.. and you're still exactly where you were before (or worse)... and you're still waiting, aren't you?

 STOP waiting and DO IT. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain! 

Isn't your health, your life, worth it?? Don't you want to be around for your loved ones for a long long time? Don't you want to be able to run around and play with your kids? To be able to get down on the floor and play with them AND be able to get right back up without struggling? To be able to do more fun things with your partner or friends? 

So, let me ask you again, 

what are you waiting for? 

And don't you tell me that it's not that easy, because yes it is. It truly IS that easy. You want to change? Buckle down and change. No one else can do it for you. Only you can. So let's go. Make the decision to start again TODAY. And then DOOOO IIIIIT. No more excuses. 

YOU deserve better than that. 

YOU ARE better than that. 

Know your worth and MAKE. IT. HAPPEN. 😘

Low Carb White Enchilada Bake

One of our favorite family meals for a few years now has been Easy Cheesy White Enchiladas. It was a quick and easy meal that was total comfort food deliciousness. When I would make this, I always had to make 2 or 3 pans of it because everyone would absolutely devour it. Even so, leftovers were rare.

I have had such a taste for it for the last several months, but now that I'm low carb (and my middle kiddle has decided to follow suit) I knew this was not a meal that I could make for all of us to enjoy. 

Or could I? I mean, there had to be a way to make this low carb.. obviously removing the tortillas would help a lot. But what about the rest of the ingredients? Could I even make a roux without flour? 

So, I set to work to find out. And you know what? It can be done without changing too much. And it was even less work than making the original carb heavy version. And the kicker? It turned out absolutely delicious with only 3.6 net carbs for 1/6th of the pan! Definite score!!

If you are living the low carb lifestyle and looking for some ultra yummy comfort food, look no further cuz I've got your back! 

Ingredients:

•  6 chicken thighs, boneless skinless, cooked and shredded
• 1 cup shredded Mozzarella Cheese
• 2 cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese
• 3 Tbsp butter
• 2 Tbsp super fine almond flour
• 1/4 tsp xanthan gum 
• 2 cups of beef broth
• 3/4 cup sour cream
• 1 (4 oz) can of diced green chilies
• 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese

Now that we've got the all star ingredients, let's roll up our sleeves and get to work. 

1. Preheat oven to 400. Lightly grease a baking dish. (9x13 works well)
2. Mix together the shredded chicken and 1/2  cup of the shredded Monterey Jack cheese and 1/2 cup of the Mozzarella Cheese. Place this into your baking dish. 
3. In a saucepan, melt the butter and whisk in the almond flour. Cook for a minute just to cook out the floury taste. Whisk in beef broth until smooth. Add in your xanthan gum and whisk well. Cook over medium heat, whisking occasionally, until thick and slightly bubbly but NOT fully boiling. Remove from heat.
4. Stir in the sour cream, chilies, Parmesan cheese and 1/2 cup of the Monterey Jack and 1/2 cup of the Mozzarella cheese. Mix very well.
5. Pour evenly over the shredded chicken mixture, give it a bit of a stir to coat the chicken and top evenly with remaining Monterey Jack cheese. Sprinkle with a touch more Parmesan cheese.
6. Bake for 15-20 minutes til cheese is bubbly and lightly browned.

That's it! Easy Peasy, right? My daughter and I ate this as is, in a bowl on top of some baby spinach. Yum! For my hubster and teen, they ate theirs by scooping it up with tortilla chips. Delicious either way, I'm sure! 

If you try this out, please come on back and let me know in the comments below what you thought! I'd love to hear from you. 

(Depending on the brand of ingredients you use, your carb count may differ from mine. I entered all my ingredients in by brand and I got 3.6 net carbs.)

Love and Light! 

RyanAnn

Losing a friend..

I got word this morning that a friend of mine had passed away. Being that today is April Fools Day, I was sure it was a cruel joke. Turns out, it wasn't..

Alex radiated love. And all she wanted was love in return. She was a strong woman, tough as nails. She had beaten cancer more than once. She was a great single mom to 5 beautiful kids. Things weren't always easy for her, but she tried to make the best of what she had. 

It wasn't always roses with Alex and I. In fact, when we were in high school,  (she was a year ahead of me) she actually used to pick on me and make fun of me. I mean, she was downright nasty to me. (Come to find out that she didn't remember any of that!) But, we all have done things when we were young and stupid that we aren't proud of. So through the wonder of Facebook (and some forgiveness, I suppose) we reconnected and became friends. And I'm happy that we did. 

We bonded over our weird preference of having our kids home during spring break or winter break, or summer vacation. (Most moms we knew dreaded breaks and couldn't wait for their kids to go back to school.). We bonded over our love of baking and cooking and doing so with our kids. Over how much we loved being moms. Over actually loving taking care of the man in our lives. Over our absolute love of God while living in such a dark world.. I honestly think we were both 50's housewives deep down inside that were born in the wrong generation. lol She was my partner in homemaking crime. We always meant to get one of her daughters and one of my daughters together to bake some yummy stuff.. Sadly it never happened.. and now it never will.

She came with me a few times to skate with my Roller Derby team. She was so excited about it and it seemed to be freeing for her (as it is for most of us). And while skating, she seemed to come even more alive, if that was possible. But, life got in the way and she wasn't able to do it anymore.

Over time, we hung out less.. Soon, fun and light hearted phone calls turned into hours of listening to her complain... I felt bad, but damn it, I had a ton of my own stuff going on as well. And it was proving to be impossible to help her with her issues while still being able to keep a handle on mine. 

As great of a person as she was, (and she really truly was!) unfortunately drama had a way of following her wherever she went. And if I'm being honest, sometimes I felt that she thrived on it. It offered excitement, ya know? I didn't judge her for it tho, because we all have faults. I know I sure do! But after a while, I had reached a point in my life where I was desperately trying to rid my life of all drama and negativity because it was sucking me in and pulling me down and I couldn't allow myself down that road again. (Not just from her, but from all directions) so I started distancing myself. I didn't want to totally leave her hanging so we'd still talk, just not as much.

(As a side note: None of this is to say that she was a bad person. She wasn't. She was a truly great person and had a truly awesome soul. She radiated love and light most of the time. But she let life dull her shine and beat her down. This should be a lesson to all of us! We all have issues but NEVER let the world dull your shine! No matter what!!)

Then, life started getting in the way on my end. I would see a missed call from her and mean to call her back, and before I knew it, a week had passed. And then two. In her quest to be loved, she had a habit of finding crazy guys that were no good for her. They'd turn mean and crazy and controlling and she'd eventually have to leave Facebook for a while and then create a new account with a different alias so they wouldn't find her. This last time, I wasn't sure if it was really her or one of the crazy guys pretending to be her. So I didn't accept the friend request. The phone number I had for her was no good anymore and so I had no way of getting a hold of her. So I waited to hear from her. If I knew then what I know now, I'd have moved Heaven and earth to get ahold of her..

Damn it, man... She had been on my mind and my heart for months, but I couldn't reach her. So I waited to hear from her thinking eventually she'd reach out to me again. She call. Or text. Or stop by. Or show up to a derby practice. But she never did get ahold of me.. 

Then I got this news...

I'm not sure what took her.. if it was cancer again, or something else. But the how doesn't matter. The how doesn't change the fact that this world lost another light. And let's face it, this world NEEDS light. 

I'm so lost in emotion right now. So many thoughts are running through my head. So much hurt in my heart. So many unanswered questions. And regret.

Regret... I fucking hate that word. I try to live without regrets, but this chapter is full of them. Could I have helped her? I wish I would have called her back more often. I wish I wouldn't have let life get in the way. I wish we wouldn't have lost touch months ago.. I wish I could've been there for her.. I wish, I wish, I wish... I wish...

Now, all I can do is hope that she's at peace. I hope that she is at the feet of our Father, who she so dearly loved. And that ALL she feels is the love that she longed for. And I hope that one day, I'll see her again and I can tell her that I love her and that I'm sorry for not being aware of what she was going through while we were out of touch... That I'm sorry for not being there... if only I would've known..

If only....

If you have been distant from a friend or a loved one, whether just because life has gotten in the way or if it was over a spat, get back in touch. Because tomorrow is not promised to any one of us and you just might not get another chance.

Nothing but love and light to you, Alex. I will miss you more than you know. 

Bacon Burgers..

Oh. My. Word.

When I make burgers, I usually stuff them with stuff. Sometimes Mozzarella and tomato sauce, sometimes spinach and feta, sometimes red peppers and spinach and feta. (Yeah, I like spinach and feta.)

But bacon? As in, adding raw chopped bacon to the meat mixture? WHYYYY have I never done this before?!? As the bacon pieces cook, all their yummy bacon juices drip through the meat, making the burgers super most and incredibly flavorful. 

If you have done this, WHY didn't you tell me?!? And if you haven't done this before, you simply must! This is a total game changer. 

You can really just add chopped raw bacon to whatever burger recipe you usually use and it should work great. If you don't have a usual burger recipe, but this is what I did. It's very basic, (dude, I was tired. Cut me some slack!) but super yummy. In fact, my hubster told me tonight (as he came in for a second burger) that from now on, I'm not allowed to make burgers any other way. Bahaha

I simply threw into a bowl:

1 lb ground chuck

3 slices of bacon (raw) chopped

1/4 cup of Parmesan cheese, grated

1 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp dried parsley 

1 tsp ground pepper 

Mix it all up very well. Form into patties and cook in a skillet over medium high heat for about 5 to 6 minutes on each side. (Depending on the size of your burgers and how rare or well done you like them. Cook em how you like em!)

I topped mine with a slice of cheddar cheese and a Tbsp of pico de gallo.

YUM!

That's it, tho! Super simple, right? Give it a try and let me know what you think!

Trying to Lose Weight?

Are you on a weight loss journey? Have you stalled out? Do you need some extra encouragement or maybe just an extra kick in the ass to keep pushing forward?

My DietBet starts Monday, and I'd love for you to join me! 

Guys and gals are all welcome. 

All you have to do is lose 4% (yes, FOUR %) of your weight over the course of 4 weeks to win. If you win, you split the pot with the other winners. So you are guaranteed to AT LEAST win back your original buy in bet. 

Plus, you'll have some great people in your corner cheering you on along the way. On our own we are strong, but together we are unstoppable. 

So if you've been struggling and need some extra motivation, come on over and put your money where your mouth is and let's DO THIS! 

(But not literally, cuz money is fucking filthy. For real, keep that shit away from your mouth and go wash your hands.)

Slow Down..

(I can't quite make out the name of who to give credit to for this picture. But it's on the side table thingy. Lol)

I've been reading a book called Women Living Well (by Courtney Joseph) And upon reading it, I came across this paragraph. It really hit me hard because it is so completely true. I just knew I had to share it. 

"Electricity has created an artificial day during our nights. Rather than sleeping like most of nature does, when the sun goes down we try to defy nature and keep going as if it is still daytime. We live in a world that runs 24/7. Computers, televisions, cell phones, the Internet, restaurants, grocery stores, and more are at our access around the clock. We try to keep pace with our hyperactive culture, and then we wonder why we, and some of our children, are so . . . well . . . hyperactive! 

We must slow down and create calm moments. It is in our unhurried moments that we can see and hear clearly. When we are on the go-go-go, we can’t see the person who is hurting and needs a hug. We can’t perceive our husbands’ need for our tender affection. We don’t have time to linger at the bedsides of our children to really listen. We don’t write an encouraging note to a friend who is hurting. We can’t enjoy the sunrise, a surprise game of hide-and-seek, or a spontaneous song of praise."

Seriously, how true is that?! Since reading this, I've really been trying my best to slow down a bit

To enjoy the little things more often. 

To look harder at who needs my help. 

And of course to get to bed earlier. LOL

And you know what? My stress level has been going down more and more each day. I wake up happier. I'm not as grouchy anymore. (I still have my moments, tho. I'm no saint!)

I urge you to slow down a bit and focus on the little things more. Because one day we're going to realize that those little things were actually the big things.  

What do you think of this? Does this hit home for you, too?

Shortcut to Weight Loss...

Have you struggled to lose weight? Do you feel like it's always one step forward, two steps back? Are you looking for a quick and easy shortcut to making it happen? 

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I have to tell you (and deep down, you already know this), there is no quick fix.

 No magic wand or special fairy dust. There are no shortcuts. If you want to lose weight and/or get healthy/fit, it's going to take determination. It's going to take GRIT.

G- guts 

R- resilience 

I- initiative 

T- tenacity. 

That's it.

 You have to want it enough to MAKE it happen. 

You have to throw your excuses in the trash and turn your back on self doubt. 

And most important? Never ever ever give up. Because you CAN do this. 

Will it always be easy? Hell no. 

But will it be worth it? Absolutely!! 

Dig deep, put in the work, crush your goals, and don't let ANYONE stop you. Especially not yourself. 

Life's A Bitch...

At the grocery store just now, I got stuck in line next to an extraordinarily snooty couple. That's not me pre-judging them, btw, that's what I learned of them after standing next to them for 30 seconds. Cuz they made it very clear that that's who they are. Not even a full minute after stepping into line, I'm already aware of it.. I can feel it before I actually see it:

 Enter obnoxious giggles, whispers, and dirty looks from said couple, directed my way. (Dude, for real, what are you, 13 years old?!)

I just kept right on smiling, cuz well, mother fucker you're NOT gonna dull MY shine! 

So as I'm leaving and walking through the parking lot, this little old lady walks by me. She stops me and exclaims "Oh honey!! Your hair should be green, not blue and purple and pink!" I just laughed and said "trust me, I'm Irish enough without that." She cracked up and said "me too! And ya know what? You just have fun and do whatever the hell you want to do. It's YOUR life!!" I told her "you are so right. And life is too short not to, right?" 

And SHE replies...

 "OH HONEY- life is a bitch and then you die!!! *giggles* Do you and enjoy every minute of it!" 

She hugged me twice and we both parted ways giggling and with smiles on our faces. That woman MADE MY DAY.

Roller Derby Progress!!

FINALLY!!

There have been many roadblocks in my derby life. I mean, seriously, so many. Issues with my skates, issues with my feet, a foot injury, anxiety keeping me from skating.. the list goes on and on. So, while I have been doing the damn thang for over two years now, there were a good six months or so (off and on) when I wasn't skating much because I just couldn't. But this, this is more about the mental block. Being way too much in my own head. Thinking way too much. That's been my BIGGEST hurdle. And like I'm always telling everyone else "GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD. YOU'VE GOT THIS!" 

It was time to practice what I preach. 

 Two of my biggest struggles have been T-Stops and jumping. T-Stops I just plain struggled with cuz my foot just wouldn't go behind me and jumping while skating? I honestly never even tried. I used to jump on roller blades back in the day but in 2 years of derby I had NEVER even attempted it. 

After being in the Tinley Park Irish Parade this afternoon and then heading to practice, I was exhausted and way too in my own head. Leading up to jumps, I started having a panic attack. When it came my turn to jump, I did my lap but couldn't bring myself to do it. I teared up,  i was SO pissed at myself. So I shook myself out of my head, took another lap, and then....

 I. FUCKING. DID. IT. 

I jumped, not once, not twice, but 3 times!! WOOOOO HOOOOO!! (And I'm not ashamed to admit that I totally cried after I did it! Lmaooo) I also managed to T-stop AND half ass turn around toe stops. LOL. I feel on top of the fucking world. Ohhh Crossovers, I'm coming for you next! 😁😁😁

I Need Another Me...

Sometimes, I really wish there were two of me. 

One to tend to the kiddos and keep them happily occupied while the other would get done all that needs to get done. I could do either job, it really doesn't matter to me..

Hmmm.. better yet, maybe three of me! That way I could kick back and relax while supervising the other two doing all the work. To think, I'd never have to do laundry, cook meals with kiddies clinging to my leg, I could take a freaking pee in peace and quiet!!! Yes, I think three of me would definitely be better!

But let's be real here: these would be clones of ME. And I know me. So I kinda feel like the other two of me would probably slack off and throw a huge party that I wouldn't be invited to but I'd damn sure have to clean up.  

Hmmm... maybe this wouldn't be such a good thing after all. 

That's ok, tho... I really truly don't mind doing laundry because it means that we are blessed with clothes to wear. I don't mind cooking because it means that we are blessed with food to fill our bellies. While I may get tired and worn out, and sometimes I feel like I have a million more things to do yet I have nothing left to give, I wouldn't trade my job as a mommy and wife for anything! Sometimes I just need to take a few steps back, regroup, and go back at it good as new. 

But I really would like to pee in peace. I've tried telling the kids that if they ask me for something while I'm in the bathroom the answer will be an automatic "no"... but well, that never ends well..

 I'm outnumbered here. Send help! And maybe a bottle of wine...

No... a shot of Jack, please...

Better make it a double. 

Messy Beautiful Motherhood

This pic right here sums up my life as a mom. Do you know what it says? 

It says that my life isn't perfect. Far from perfect, actually.

This is my youngest daughter, proudly sporting her crooked new haircut which was done by mommy after she got SUCH a gnarly knot in her hair that cutting it was our only option.

See all the crap piled up on the counter (and on the floor) behind her? I'm in the process of decluttering the house, but messes still happen.
So yeah, excuse the mess but... 

well... 

We LIVE here.

We LAUGH here.

We LOVE here. 

While I do share lots of our great moments, 

like my oldest kiddo dominating at his wrestling meets,

Or my middle kiddle winning spelling bees 

for her school and her district

  or rocking Tae Kwon Do,

And (rare) sweet moments with my hubster and I...

Don't let all that stuff fool you!

You won't see perfect here. 

What you WILL see is perfectly imperfect.

My ducks aren't all in a row and 

the 'eggs in my basket' often get broken.

Sometimes, in the wee hours of the morning, I'll wake up to my four year old snuggled sweetly next to me, playing with my hair. And other times I'll wake up to that same four year old snuggled up next to me, her nose pressed to my nose, and she'll smile at me and say "mommy- did you brush your teeth? Cuz your breath smells like shit." *facepalm*

Sometimes I trip over the obstacle course of Legos, barbies, and stuffed animals that have been left on my bedroom floor as I shuffle my way through the dark to collapse into bed. Why? Cuz I was too tired to clean it up.

Sometimes my teenage son and I get into screaming matches over stupid things that really don't matter all that much. (I'm still learning to pick my battles.)

Sometimes I let my youngest kiddo sack out in front of the TV so that I can get some cleaning done. (And sometimes it's just so I can have a few quiet moments to gather my thoughts.)

Sometimes I get grumpy as hell over always having to do everything for everyone and be everything to everyone.

Sometimes I go to cook dinner and realize that I have not a single clean pot or pan to cook in nor a single fork to eat with. So I have to wash dishes before I can even start cooking.

Sometimes my four year old eats Ramen noodles for dinner 4 nights in a row because that's all she will eat.

Sometimes my youngest rips huge holes in her pants (on purpose) and has crazy hair. And I let her stay like that for the day. (Not leaving the house like that, tho! I'm not totally crazy.)

The only reason we don't constantly have crumbs on our floor isn't because I always sweep them up- it's because we have dogs that eat them.

Sometimes I fall so behind on laundry that my poor hubster has to tell me "I really need clean socks, babe. Can you please do my laundry?"

Sometimes I'm too tired to make everyone's lunches for the next day, so I send them all with lunch money instead.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and just plain lose my shit.

So you see, my house isn't always clean, our hair isn't always done up nicely, some days we get a little extra dirty and still skip bath time, some nights we read bedtime stories and some nights we don't, some nights we eat not-so-good-for-us-food, there are times when we fight, and times when we fight worse than other times... but we always have each other's back.

This is messy beautiful motherhood, and despite not being perfect, there is NO shortage of love here. And THAT, my friends, is what truly counts.
Are YOU a perfectly imperfect mama? Shout it out below!! Let's show all the mamas out there that they aren't alone!

30 Day Decluttering Challenge

I always feel like I'm constantly cleaning yet it never looks like I cleaned a damn thing. And of course shortly after cleaning, everything gets trashed again SO quickly. Please tell me that I'm not alone?!?

After some serious thought, I realized that I simply had too much stuff. And that rather than owning this stuff, this stuff was starting to own me. How crazy is that?! No matter how much I "organized" it, constant clutter was making me anxious and sapping my energy. See, I form emotional attachments to stuff and struggle to part with them. I have (had!) cards from my 8th grade graduation. Birthday cards from 10 years ago. Knick knacks from my first baby shower. Purses from high school. Clothes that don't fit but I couldn't bear to part with because as I'm losing weight, I might fit back into one day. (Ummm hello- when I hit my goal, I'm buying new clothes. Lol) TONS of random shit I wanted to keep "just because".

But none of this stuff had a purpose for me anymore. So a couple months ago, I sat down late one night and I read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. Some of the stuff in her book was a bit... out there for me. (Talking to your belongings?) But the rest really sparked something in me and I immediately started the process of eliminating as much as possible. I thanked the stuff for being a blessing to me at some point in time and then I let it go. Some stuff went straight to the trash but other stuff is going to bless other families.

That day alone, I freed myself of EIGHTEEN big ass bags of stuff. Some stuff I never thought I could part with. But I did it and I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I couldn't wait to do more, tho garbage day being only once a week limited what I could do and when I could do it.

I've had a lot going on for the past couple months and so decluttering took a bit of a backseat lately. But I'm SO ready to start moving forward again. I swear, my house is screaming at me to do it. And I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this need, so I'm kicking off a 30 Day Decluttering Challenge on Facebook. Are you looking to simplify your home and life? Need a little extra support and encouragement ? Well what are you waiting for? This is your sign!! Join me and take back control of your life!

Low Carb Pizza

I'm a sucker for a pizza. I don't care what toppings, deep dish or thin crust. Bring me a delicious pizza and I'm a happy camper.

Rewind 5 years... when I was pregnant with my youngest kiddo, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Because of that,  I had to really watch my carb intake. No pizza?? I was crushed! Then I discovered tortilla pizzas. It fit my needs perfectly at the time. (And dude, it was so freaking yummy!)

Fast forward to today. I'm not diabetic, but I have discovered that my body has issues with carbs. (What the hell, body?! You couldn't have issues with something I don't love and cherish?!) So I dug into researching the low carb lifestyle. I'm in love with it. But... this broad still needs her pizza!! What to do... what to do?!

I've tried quite a few low carb pizza crust recipes and, well, they just don't suit my taste!! Most cauliflower crusts I've tried are just soggy and fall apart. Yeeeeah, nice try, but that's not pizza, man. It has to come as close to the real thing as possible or else I'm going into stubborn 3 year old mode and I'm... not... eating... that.

But this one? Let me just tell you.. this one is the closest I have come to regular pizza without all the carbs. And it's damn delicious.  If you are anything like me, you very well may look at your "dough" halfway through mixing it and think "man, I screwed up... No way is this going to work.."

But don't give up. Just keep going. It will totally pull itself together as it bakes and you will be that much closer to low carb pizza Heaven.

Check out the recipe HERE. Seriously. Go!! I'll still be here!

Obviously nutritional info will vary based on what toppings you choose. I made mine with mozzarella, spinach, feta, 
and a little pico de gallo on top. 

The nutritional info for my pizza based on my toppings (the whole thing) was: 
calories: 616
fat: 40 g
protein: 53.9 g
net carbs: 10.4 g

Seriously, I cannot recommend this recipe enough. Both my mom and I couldn't get over how amazingly delicious this was. (And ummm have I mentioned that I'm not a fan of cauliflower unless it's  like cauliflower rice and super crazy flavored up? Yeah.) If you have ever tried a cauliflower crust recipe and been terribly let down, run- don't walk- run to your kitchen and make this. 

Then come on back here to the comment section and tell me what you think!! 


...Why are you still here? Go make this stuff! Go on!!

Going Keto..

Around this time last year, I was doing a Whole 30 Challenge. I knew that something I had been eating wasn't agreeing with my body and I needed to figure out what it was. I successfully completed the challenge and upon reintroducing food groups I noticed that I felt like crap after eating many of them. So I still didn't have a solid idea of what the problem food was.

That is, until now. 

I had been really mindful of everything I had been eating and started suspecting that my body didn't agree with carbs. I brushed it off and figured that was crazy. But I constantly felt like crap. I mean, headaches every day, beyond tired all the damn time.. not just tired but full body and mind exhaustion. I was crabby. I was constantly bloated. I'm talking insanely bloated. And this would happen any time I ate beyond a certain number of carbs, whether they were "good" carbs or "bad". And I couldn't seem to drop weight and keep it off no matter what I did. I'd lose 5 and gain 3. Lose 10 and gain 15. Could carbs really be my issue? Surely I was crazy?! I mean, I had always preached about how carbs are absolutely necessary for our bodies. So how could this be?

The only thing I knew for sure was that I was seriously a hot mess.
(check out the awesome headband. My derby wives and I have matching ones! teehee!_

ALL ABOOOOOARD THE HOT MESS EXPRESS! CHOO CHOO!!

So one day I happened upon a random quiz that was supposed to tell you your personal #1 metabolic killer. I took the quiz, which asked things like when do I eat, how often do I eat, and if/how I exercise, what is my biggest struggle with exercising, etc.. I then got the results based on my answers and I was floored. I'm a "muscle burner" and my #1 metabolic killer is... Carbs. Go figure. My body is addicted to carbs and literally can't get enough of them to feel satisfied. As I listened to the video with my results, lightbulbs were going off left and right in my mind.

"This is why you probably go all day without eating before realizing you haven't eaten." Yes!

"This is why no matter what you do, the weight just won't budge." Duuude. Yes.

"You crash from not eating often enough and you are hit with mood issues, especially anxiety and the inability to sleep." Yessss.

"This is why you are constantly tired and nothing helps." Ummm yup!

"This is why a normal serving, or even two or three, of carb heavy foods don't satisfy you. You can eat and eat and eat carbs and NEVER feel satisfied even tho you are more than full." Ohhh my gawd yes!!! A thousand times yes!

Ok, so maybe I wasn't crazy after all. I've taken many quizzes before and always took the results with a grain of salt. Cuz nothing was ever dead on accurate. Except this time. This time was like someone had a direct view into my brain. And it really confirmed what I had suspected all along.

So I decided to research low carb living. Even further, I researched Keto. I had a feeling that I was onto something with this so I just jumped right in. I never realized just how many carbs I had been eating (and drinking!) on a daily basis. This is a pic of one of my typical days logged on My Fitness Pal. 

LOOK AT THOSE CARBS!!!

No freaking wonder I felt like crap! Who the hell eats like that?! Especially when they weren't even eating 3 times a day!! And of course this included an extra large iced latte here, a can of Monster there... Oy!!

This is how I'm eating now. Yes, high fat, moderate protein, and very low carbs. 

And guess what? It's working. 

I have officially been eating the Keto way for almost 3 weeks. And let me tell you, I feel amazing. The first day and a half was hard. I just wanted carbs. Alllll of the carbs. In my mouth. NOW. But by day 3? I wanted nothing sweet. Nothing extra carby. My cravings completely disappeared. Like, I'm not kidding, completely gone! I was no longer constantly hungry. My brain wasn't foggy anymore. My energy shot up a lot. Now, when I eat, I'm full long before my food is gone. Yaaaay for leftovers!! It has been a bit of an adjustment because looking back, 90% of my food choices involved carbs. Plus, fat has really been demonized for so long so it was hard to wrap my brain around eating so much fat- but I'm eating good fats. And ya know what? This has been the easiest way of eating I've ever done. I'm eating delicious filling food. And my grocery bill didn't go up a ridiculous amount like it sometimes had in the past. Oh... and did I mention that I dropped 21 lbs in the first 2 weeks alone? 

Yeah, I was floored. My jaw actually dropped.

Now, am I saying that carbs are the devil and all must be avoided? Absolutely not. But what I am saying is that for me personally, excess carbs were a very serious issue for my body. And I'm doing great, feeling great, and I cannot wait to see where this takes me.

I'll keep you all updated as I go!!

Yummy Low Carb Taco Salad

After picking kiddos up from practices, running some last minute errands, and picking up the requested Taco Bell for the guys, I got home late and was famished. Smelling that food was killing me. I'm not a big fan of Taco Bell, but when I smell it, something in me snaps and I absolutely crave it. I needed something delicious, low carb, and I needed it quick. 

Enter, my Low Carb Taco Salad.

It may not look like much, but it seriously hit the spot and kept me away from the calorie bomb bell.

This made a huge batch (I mean, I used 2 freaking lbs of meat.) and after feeding myself and my middle kiddle, (and the hubster who ate a hefty bowl of it after finishing his bell) I still had enough for lunch for my mom and my hubster for the next day and a few lunches through the week for me.

SCORE!!

(This made 8 servings  for me)

• 2 lbs of 80% ground beef
• 8 cups shredded green leaf lettuce
• 8 oz cheddar cheese, shredded (from the block)
• 8 Tablespoons Pico de Gallo
• 1 Tablespoon Paprika
• 2 teaspoons coarse kosher salt
• 1 Tablespoon Chili Powder
• 1 Tablespoon Ground Cumin
• 8 Tablespoons Ken's Buttermilk Ranch Dressing (1 to 2 for each serving)

1. In a large skillet, brown your ground beef over medium-high heat and drain the excess fat.
2. Add your spices to the meat and stir well. Cook for 2 more minutes. (Taste it and feel free to add more of the spices to suit your taste. Just be sure to count them!)
3. In a bowl, add 1 cup of lettuce, 1 oz of shredded cheese, 1 Tbsp Pico de Gallo, and 1 to 2 Tbsp of the Ranch dressing. (nutritional info below is based on 2 Tbsp)
4. Mix it up, kick back, and enjoy!

For some reason, when I export this recipe from this page to my fitness pal, the numbers come up different. But when I entered in all of my ingredients into My Fitness Pal for this recipe when I made it, this is the Nutritional Info it gave me for EACH SERVING.

Calories: 559,  Carbs 4.9,  Fat 47.5,  Protein 27.9, Dietary Fiber 1.7g

(This is a screenshot of the numbers from when I entered it in when making the recipe.)

(Some of you may see the fat content and freak, but these numbers fit my macros perfectly and I'm steadily dropping weight while never being hungry. So I'll gladly take it.)