How Doing Nothing All Week Opened My Eyes As A Mom

Well, I wouldn't say I did nothing at all.. because taking care of a baby and 3 other kids (granted two are much older and pretty self sufficient) isn't exactly doing nothing. Lol

But housework? Yeah, I haven't done a lick of it. Dishes have piled up, laundry desperately needs to be done.. etc

This was me, basically all week. 

I have been sidelined with a horrible dental abscess and let me just say, I hope you never have to experience one yourself. Seriously, the pain is like nothing else. Dare I say it hurts worse than having my last baby without any drugs. I've had them abscesses in the past, (Pretty sure I inherited my daddy's bad teeth) and i'm usually able to take care of them on my own until I can get into a dentist. This time? This time has been ridiculous. Definitely the worst one I've ever had. 

By day 4 I had finally had enough and called the dentist. That speaks volumes cuz I have a legit dentist phobia. I would've probably gotten in sooner had the abscess been on the bottom portion of my mouth but it's on the top. What's the big deal you ask? 

Well, when you get work done on the top, you get that shot in the roof of your mouth which makes it feel like it's super swollen and you feel like you can't swallow. Some may be thinking "yeah, and so what? We all get that feeling. Suck it up, buttercup.." And that may be true, but my throat is permanently swollen from being sick so much as a kid. There isn't much room back there to begin with. So when it feels like the roof of my mouth is swollen, I really REALLY feel like I can't swallow and my anxiety kicks in and I start to have a panic attack.  It is NOT good times. 

There are other reasons I tend to avoid going to the dentist, too, but I'll save that for another post cuz I have a lot to say.

My dentist was awesome enough to call me in some antibiotics and made an appointment for me to come in next week. The antibiotics took a couple days to kick in and give me any relief. So that was over a week of excruciating pain that truly takes everything out of you..

Ok, I'm going on and on about my abscess and getting a bit off track from my point.. What have I learned from my week of doing nothing but snuggling my youngest peanut? 

Well, two main things. 

One, is that nothing bad really happens if you choose some extra snuggle time with your little ones over doing some housework. Seriously, the dishes and laundry will still be there waiting for you when you're ready. Trust me on this. 

Which brings me to two: the dishes, laundry, and most everything else was indeed still there. Cuz no one else did them. And I realized that this was my fault. Growing up, I did almost everything for them. If they were asked to do something and they didn't do it, I just sucked it up and did it myself. They loved helping me around the house when they were little, but the older they got, the less willing they were to help. And the more lax I got in enlisting their help..

I've always been so torn, because I believe that as the mom and wife, I should be serving my family. No, not waiting on their every beck and call, but doing the housework and helping them as much as I can. But I also want them to be fully self sufficient for when they leave the nest. So really, have I been doing them a disservice all these years by not making them do things around the house? Have I been doing more harm than good?! 

It really has opened my eyes to the fact that sometimes I just need help. And that it's ok to ask them for that help. Or tell them rather than ask them, if need be. Enlisting their help around the house will still be serving my family because it's preparing them for life as an adult. I want my daughters to know how to keep house and cook, should they decide they want to be a mama and homemaker in the future. I also want my son to know how to keep house and cook so that he can be a helping hand for his spouse in the future. 

With all this in mind, going forward, there will be changes made around here. Everyone will be pitching in more. There may be some grumbling along the way, but this mama is putting her foot down. It's time!

Now, does anyone want to go to the dentist for me later today?!? Anyone? Anyone? 😂