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Saturday, October 19, 2019

Mom Life Is No Joke!! Finding the Joy In My Journey.

Some of you mommies have it all together, every second of every day. You run a tight ship, your kiddies behave perfectly, your home is immaculate. You do it all, flawlessly, and never ever complain. And while that's awesome, and I give you MAJOR kudos, this post is not for you, Susan. 

Seriously. I joke about mom life a lot- but sometimes "mom life" is no joke. And it's so easy to lose yourself in the day to day monotony of it all. Especially when you have really little ones in the home. 

I'm in a season right now, where my days consist of getting kids cleaned up and dressed (several times a day cuz my kids get beyond filthy and spill shit all over themselves multiple times a day).

Cleaning up ALL the messes (cuz I promise you that no one else here is gonna do it).

Breaking up fights.

CONSTANTLY saying "don't put that in your mouth", which is alwaaaays followed by yelling "GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!!!" to the younger kids, which is alwaaaays followed by digging said object out of the offenders mouth while they scream in displeasure.

Always yelling "DON'T YOU EAT THAT!!" to the dogs, which is always followed by "DAAAAMN IT!!" and trying to dig the object out of THEIR mouths. 

Wiping up the millionth puddle of juice, water, and milk, because those Spill Proof/Leak Proof Miracle 360° cups are cute little cups of LIES. 

I wipe faces, hands, butts, noses, and tears (not in that order) seemingly nonstop. I get to relieve myself with a toddler in the bathroom with me who is hellbent on tearing everything out of the cabinets while I am temporarily immobilized and unable to stop her. And she knows it. And when she's NOT in there with me, you better believe someone else is trying to talk to me through the damn door. 

Begging kids to just eat the food I made, especially since I usually cook 2-3 different meals for dinner. EVERY. NIGHT. No preaching about "you're the mom- they'll eat what you make or they can go hungry. If they're hungry enough, they'll eat it." Cuz NO, that doesn't work with ALL kids. It worked with 3 of my 4. One of them tho, cannot make herself eat what she doesn't like. And if you try and force her, she WILL go hungry. Again and again and again. And then she will become malnourished and VERY scarily sick. Been there, done that. I'll choose to keep making more than one meal over that ANY day, thank you very much. 

My life right now is an endless cycle of diapers, laundry, and dishes- the last two being the jobs I dispise the most- but again, no one else is going to do them. 

There is no quiet in my life- not even in bed cuz the hubster snores his ass off. I don't think I'd know what to do with quiet if I ever got it. 

I do the budgeting and I do the shopping while trying to stick to that budget. And I try to work on building up stock in our freezers and pantry so that we can be prepared for hard times. Which isn't always easy when you're on a tight budget- but it's even more important to do that when your budget is always tight. 

I work hard to ensure that we are getting as much as we possibly can out of anything we buy, and trying to minimize waste. Trying to make sure that each family member is prepared for each season, especially the cold winter months. 

I tend to everyone else when they're sick, even when sick myself. And then I get to disinfect the house.

I've been on a NONSTOP 24/7 shift for 20 years now, with no end in near sight. I don't get breaks. I don't get timeouts. I don't get sick days or days off. It's just go go go go go go go go GO. Every moment of every day. I KNOW there are other mamas out there that feel me on that, right?? 

I don't have hobbies anymore nor the time for the ones I did have, let alone the ability to get out without the youngest kiddo and actually do them. Lol

I'm a mom. Which also makes me a short order cook. A maid. A laundry service. A chauffeur. A nurse. A referee. A therapist. A sounding board. A mediator. And sometimes even a doormat.

And I do it all without expecting anything in return. Because taking care of others is just my heart. It's in my blood. It always has been and always will be. 

So yes, maybe I signed up for all of this- but that doesn't chage the fact that it's EXHAUSTING- mentally and physically. I wish that *I* could just pack up and go somewhere for an overnight trip. Shit, even just for a few hours without phone calls and texts about "wheres this? Where's that? Baby is getting cranky. Baby is REALLY cranky now. Baby is tired. When will you be home? Baaaaaaabe??" 🤣

I'd LOVE for my hubster to recognize that I'm burning out, before it actually happens. I'd LOVE for him to be able to help me out around here. But that man works incredibly long hours and when he comes home after working his fingers to the bone all day, he just wants to sit down and relax. And I get that. I WANT him to be able to unwind after a long day. He more than deserves that. 

But so do I.

Tonight, the hubster gets to go away and play at our yearly camping excursion while I'm holding down the homefront. AGAIN. I've missed out on this much anticipated camping trip for the last several years now. And I'm not gonna lie- I'm a bit jealous. Maybe even a bit bitter. I'm only human- fight me. 🤣 

But I'm also happy that he got to go unwind and blow off some steam. And I hope he has a great time. 

So you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to clean this child tornado strewn house. 

I'm going to cook the meals. 

I'm going to wipe the butts and noses and rock and shush the toddler. 

And then, I'm going to build a giant fucking blanket fort with the kids. 

I'm going to fill it with every pillow we own. 

I'm going to put a movie on and watch it with them. 

I'm going to laugh with them. 

And snuggle them. 

And read with them. 

I'm going to get on my knees and pray my heart out to my God, that He takes the sting out of my heart and rights my attitude. That He gives me the strength to do all that I have to do and the grace to do it with a softer heart.

And then I'm probably going to pass out. 

And THEN- God willing- I'm going to wake up in the morning and do it all again with a smile on my face. 

Cuz I'm a mom and that's just what we do. 

Every single day that we are blessed to wake up, we have to make the CHOICE to see the good in all we do. To recognize that every seemingly mundane task that we do, BLESSES our families. To be grateful for what we have. To find JOY in our journey.

Find Joy

And ya know what? I'm beyond blessed to have a home to clean. To have these beautiful sassy mouths to feed, as well as the food to feed them with. To have all that dreaded laundry that keeps us warm and cozy and covered. To have each other and to have LOVE.

If that doesn't put a smile on my face and a skip in my step, I don't know what will!

Blessed beyond measure, y'all. 

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