A Tremendous Loss...

     Let me start by saying that I struggled with whether or not to write this, or if it is too soon, but have decided to press ahead. As hard as it is, I NEED to get this out or I fear I may explode... So here it goes...

     Today is a very sad day for us. Our family has lost a truly amazing young woman. A loving mama to beautiful little girl, a dedicated daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, a cousin, a friend, and to my husband and I, a niece. My heart is absolutely shattered as I write this and the tears just won't stop. Every time I have to type the word "was" it just kicks me in the chest... Using "was" instead of  "is"... It's a lot to wrap my brain around right now.

     Shana was a beautiful, vibrant, and loving soul. I don't think there was ever a person that met her that was not touched by her in some way. And if there was, believe me, it was their loss. She was just that type of person...  She always wanted to make the world a better place. (Well, mission accomplished sweetie, you made the world a better place just by being here, by being YOU.) The world would be a much better place if more people in it were like her.

     It has been far too long since I last saw her, but I vividly remember her smile. It was infectious. It was simply impossible to see her smile and not find yourself smiling in return. She was so caring and generous, I remember when she stayed with us a for a short while, ohhh about 7 summers or so ago, I was very depressed and my house was a wreck. Seeing this, she said nothing, smiled and just started cleaning. I told her she didn't have to do anything at all, but she just kept right on. After a while, I found myself almost feeding off of her energy and before I knew it, I was up cleaning and laughing with her. When we finished up, I offered to pay her, but of course she refused. That's just the kind of person she was. I wish I could tell her just how much that meant to me. (To be fair here, I want to say that her sister Sarah helped me a lot that day as well.. and I am very grateful to her, too.)

     When I first heard that Shana was sick, quite a few years ago now, I was just dumb struck. "Brain Cancer? Who? Shana? Nooo... There MUST be some mistake." It finally sunk in, but I remained hopeful, as she was strong. This was something we all knew, but I don't think we realized just HOW strong she really was. She was a fighter, that's for sure! She remained brave, and optimistic through it all. While I am glad to know that her pain and suffering is over, I still selfishly grieve for the loss. For her mother, her daughter, her husband, her brother and sister, her grandparents... For all of us. For every single heart that is aching for her right now, and believe me, there are MANY. We may never fully understand why she was taken from us, so young, so soon, but I can tell you that one hell of a "soldier" has joined the Lord's ranks today.

     I have often heard people refer to someones passing by saying that "their light was extinguished." I do not believe that. I believe with ALL THAT I AM, that Shana's light will NEVER go out. That if we look hard enough, we will see it shining brightly all around us, and if we listen hard enough, just maybe we will hear her laughter on the wind.

     Shana, sweetheart, know that you will always hold a very special place in our hearts. That you will always be loved, and never forgotten, as you will live on forever and ever in our memories. May you rest sweetly now, beautiful angel, until we meet again.