JOKES FOR KIDS

My kiddies both LOVE telling jokes, sometimes very cheesy ones. So I dedicate this page to them! Jokes galore!


Q. What do you call a fake noodle?
A. An impasta!

Q. What do you get when you pamper a cow?
A. Spoiled milk!

Q. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A. A bulldozer!

Q.What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
A. You have to watch out for poodles!

Q. What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A. A slipper!

Q. How did the barber win the race?
A. He knew a short cut!

Q. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A. In case he got a hole in one!

Q. What did the football coach say to the vending machine?
A. Give me my quarterback!!

Q. How do snails fight?
A. They slug it out!

Q. what has 50 heads and 50 tails?
A. 50 pennies!

Q. How does a lumberjack use a computer?
A. He logs on!

Q. How do you cut the sea in half?
A. With a sea saw!

Q. How do fleas travel?
A. They itch-hike!

Q.Which Christmas Carol do parents like the best?
A. Silent Night!

Q. How do you make a walnut laugh?
A. Crack it up!

Q. What do you call a sheep that's always quiet?
A. A shhhhhhheep!

Q. What do you call a pig that won the lottery?
A. Filthy rich!

Q. What is the best way to catch a fish?
A. Have someone throw one to you!

Q. What do ducks have with soup?
A. Quackers!

Q. What do frogs drink at parties?
A. Croak-a-cola!

Q. What do you call a snowman with a tan?
A. A puddle!

Q. Why didn't the shark eat the clown?
A. Because he tasted funny!

Q. What does Dracula take when he's sick?
A. Coffin drops!

Q. What dog loves to take baths?
A. A shampoo-dle!

Q. Why was the police man in bed?
A. Because he was going under cover!

Q. Pretend you're in the jungle and a tiger is chasing you. What should you do?
A. Stop pretending!

Q. What do you get from confused chickens?
A. Scrambled eggs!

Q. What kind of cat goes bowling?
A. An alley cat!

Q. Why do you have to be careful at sunrise and sunset?
A. Because day breaks and night falls!

Q. What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A. A milk dud!

Q. Does it snow on Pluto?
A. Not if Mickey lets him inside!

Q. How do you turn soup into gold?
A. Add 24 carrots!

Q. Which animal never needs a haircut?
A. A bald eagle!

Q. Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm?
A. Because the corn has ears and the potatoes have eyes!

Q. How do mad scientists freshen their breath?
A. With experi-mints!

Q. What do penguins eat for dinner?
A. Iceberg-ers!

Q. What do pirates use to keep their parrots on their shoulders?
A. Super Pollygrip!

Q. What do you get when you cross a centipede and a parrot?
A. A walkie-talkie!

Q. What do you call a fly without wings?
A. A walk!

Q. How do you fix a flat pumpkin?
A. With a pumpkin patch!

Q. Why are cats good at video games?
A. Because they have nine lives!

Q. What sort of bee lives in a graveyard?
A. A zombee!

Q. What do you call a cow wearing a crown?
A. A dairy queen!