As Valentines Day Approaches..

Ahhhh... February is here and that means just one thing. Overpriced roses and chocolates are just around the corner.

I always tell my hubster NOT to bring me that crap. Don't get me wrong, it's sweet. I love flowers. And if you've ever seen the size of my ass, you'd know that I definitely love me some chocolate, too. BUT, as gifts that are supposed to say "I love you", that stuff is a no-no for me. The flowers? They're gonna fucking die. The chocolates? I'm going to wolf those fuckers down in a day or two and then be sad cuz they're all gone. Who am I kidding, they'll be gone that night.

After being mommy all day every day to 2 teens and a 4 year old, and being a wife, a maid, a chef, a referee, a taxi service... etc.. ya know what I would really like to get? A night in a jacuzzi suite, by myself. I'll even supply my own bottle of Jack and eye patch. Seriously. I can get drunk as hell while soaking in the jacuzzi and pretending I'm a mother fucking pirate storming the high sea. Maybe I'll even Facebook Live that shit. (No, maybe I won't..) Then? I can crawl my ass over to the bed and pass the hell out with- gasp- the entire bed to myself. Ohhh Heavens yessss.

Man, I must really sound like a total miserable bitch right now without a single romantic bone in my body, uh? That's just not true, tho! I can be quite the romantic, I swear. And to show you just how romantic I can be, check out these super sweet Valentines I created from the heart.