Monday, November 9, 2015

Some days just go like that..

 I love being a homemaker and a stay at home mama. And I am beyond grateful to my hubster for working as hard as he does so that I can have that opportunity. I truly wouldn't trade being able to be home with my kiddies for anything in the world. I've been the mama that works a job outside of the home and goes to school and then still has to come home and be mommy, and that's not easy. I truly don't know how some of you ladies do it! 

I have to admit tho, that whether you stay at home or you work, being a mama is sometimes not easy. In fact, some days it can feel downright impossible! There are those days where for every two things you pick up and put away, your toddler tears out seventeen. Sometimes, I swear my whole life feels like that.
The preteen and toddler are fighting. The teen and the preteen are fighting. The teen is pissed and pouting cuz dinner contains corn (just. pick. it. out. damn it!). The toddler "don't want nutting!" for dinner and has instead trailed toilet paper all over the house. Wet toilet paper. Cuz you know, suddenly she likes to play in the toilet like it's a freaking water table. She also manages to find the long lost roll of scotch tape that I could never seem to find... and proceeds to unwind it all and leave that everywhere, too. The "honey do" list gets longer and longer yet nothing on it gets done (I know, I know, he's tired from work.. I totally sympathize, but it's things that I just cannot do myself and we don't have money to pay someone to do it..) Dishes get piled up in the sink despite the fact that there is an empty dishwasher available. Heaven forbid mommy hurts her foot and can't do much of anything for almost 3 weeks cuz then nothing gets done. (Thank God for my mom who loaded up the dishwasher several times for me so we'd have clean dishes, and my mom in law who took my middle kiddle to school and picked her up for me for a few days)...

I know that I am supposed to go about my tasks with a good heart. That every task I do is done to bless my family. But sometimes I just feel like all I do is give and give and give to people around me and all they ever do is take and take and take. What happens when mommy has nothing left to give?? What happens when my cup is empty? Mommy snaps, that's what happens. And it's not pretty. There's yelling, and crying, and threats of going on strike. (riiiight. Like that'll ever happen. lol) And ya know what happens then?? Everyone is confused and wondering what the hell is wrong with mommy? Why is she so upset? It makes me feel crazy that no one listens to my cries before the snap. That no one realizes that mommy needs help sometimes, too. That mommy isn't some unbreakable super hero that can do it all in just a couple leaps and bounds.

This week has been one of those weeks. Today has been one of those days. And I am so mentally exhausted. And all I can do is turn it over to God and pray for peace and strength. And then tonight, after everyone has gone to bed, I'm going to use the awesome coffee sugar scrub that I just made and then I'm going to squeeze my big ass into our itty bitty bathtub and take a nice hot bubble bath. Maybe even with a glass of wine. Then I'll shuffle off to bed because tomorrow waits for no one. Because I know that it can't rain all the time. And because from where I'm standing, tomorrow looks brighter already. 

And I think tomorrow looks like a great day to bake my troubles away. Hmmm... cookies maybe? I think so.

Please tell me that I'm not alone in sometimes feeling this way? Do you ever feel overwhelmed? What do you do to get through?


Love and Light
RyanAnn
XOXO
4:00 PM / by / 0 Comments

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