Saturday, May 18, 2013

My Not So Baby...

Birthday Pancakes for the birthday boy

Time really does fly by much to quickly. Today, my firstborn turned 14. I cannot get over the fact that he is 14 already. He is graduating 8th grade next week  and the next time that I register him for school will be for high school. *sobs* We don't always see eye to eye, and we butt heads fairly often, but my love for him will never waiver. He challenges me daily and I grow from that. He makes me laugh countless times a day, every day, even when I don't want to and I appreciate that. His strength amazes me. He has truly shown me what unconditional love is. Sometimes it's downright hard being the mama of a teenager, and sometimes I'm not sure how the hell I'll make it through. But I always do. Somehow, I always do.

I remember being terrified when I found out that I was pregnant with him. I was only 17 and still in school and what the hell was I going to do? Was I ready for this? You bet your ass I was ready. Mentally I was always pretty mature for my age. I was often told that I was an old soul. Now was it the ideal age to have a baby? Of course not. But did I decide right then and there to grow up and not look back? Absolutely. It hasn't always been easy, but here we are. And if I could go back, I wouldn't change my decision.

I am NOT advocating teenage pregnancy by ANY means. I want to throw shit at my TV when I'm scrolling through channels and see "Teen Mom" or "16 and Pregnant" are on. What the fuck is wrong with this world? Who the hell had the brilliant idea to reward teenagers for getting knocked up? Yeah, lets put em on TV and make them stars. I didn't get rewarded for getting pregnant. Hell, I got a smack upside my head from my older sister, I got high blood pressure and put on bed rest. Oh and fat. I got fat. Yaaaaay me! And the shows are filled with such drama. I'm sorry but some of these girls are just total twits. How about instead of focusing on the, popping babies out, you make a show about them going to school? Or better yet, just take that crap off the air and make them live the mommy life without the glamor of being on television.

Ok, end of rant there. Sorry about that. Back on course, I want to thank my sweet, not so little anymore, son. For coming into my life and changing it, for changing me. I don't know who I would be if it wasn't for him. For making me laugh, for making me cry, through the good times and the bad, through thick and thin, no matter how old he gets, he will always be my baby. I am quite proud of the young man he is becoming and cannot wait to see the man he will become. I love you, Michael. With all of my heart and soul. Happy birthday, my friend and son.
M at about a year and a half
M and I. He was about 5 months here.
At 14, and already quite a bit taller than me.


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