Thursday, July 7, 2011

Insomnia strikes again....

     Here I am, laying in bed at 2:58 am and I am sooooo very tired, but of course sleep just won't come. This is getting really old, really quick. There is a constant stream of babble running through my head and try as I might, it just won't stop. "The kitchen is an absolute mess, WHY don't you get up now and clean it?" "Ummm... because it's 2:00 in the morning and I am really freaking tired." (yes, I even answer myself in my head. And out loud, sometimes, too!) "The laundry pile is mysteriously growing bigger while you lay here." "Why aren't you up cleaning your room? Cuz you KNOW you're not going to do it tomorrow!" "How the hell am I going to get decent groceries for yummy but nutritious meals on this nickle and dime budget this week?" "If I fall asleep right now, I will get at least 5 hours of sleep. That'll be fine...." 2 hours later... "If I fall asleep now, at least I'll get 3 hours of sleep. Or maybe I can sleep in an extra hour or two... hmmm... yeah, that sounds good."

     Then, I wind up not falling asleep til about 4:40/5:00 am and I end up sleeping in WAY too late. Thank God the kiddies are older and can get a bowl of cereal if they are hungry, but I feel guilty about that. I should be awake and cooking them an awesome breakfast. I just cant help it. If I could get some freaking sleep, I COULD be up making them breakfast. And I COULD have energy throughout the day to get stuff done...

     After my self inflicted mental beatings, tossing and turning and staring at the clock, I start to doze off. And inevitably, Mike will roll over and elbow me, or fling his hot sweaty leg over mine or will let loose a behemoth of a snore and I will be right back at square one. SIGH... I....just....want....to....sleep! Is that really asking for too much? So come on, Mr. Sandman- you don't have to bring me a dream, just knock me the hell out and I will sing your praises forever! Please?
3:18 AM / by / 2 Comments

2 comments:

  1. Oh have I been there...u have to try to direct itself in a positive thought route...think of all the good things that wait for u in the morning...like those smiles and "morning mom"!

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  2. Juli- I certainly try! I think my "bad" inner child is seriously pissed off and is sitting on my "good" inner child to keep those positive thoughts away! LOL But seriously, thank you, I will certainly keep trying.

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