Friday, February 22, 2013

"You Shake Like A Man." Wait... What?

     So I'm sitting here minding my own business and I'm thirsty. So, I pop open a bottle of water and add in a lil packet of Crystal Light, and start shaking it. I'm holding the bottle and shaking it by twisting my wrist left and right. Ya know, like I always do. Well, I'm sure you didn't know that, but now you do.

  • Mr: "You shake like a man."
  • Me: *shake shake shake* "What??"
  • Mr: "You shake like a man."
  • Me: "I...shake... like a man? What the fuck does that mean?"
  • Mr: *mimics how I''m shaking the bottle* "That is how a man shakes stuff."
  • Me: "Ummm no. A guy would shake like this." *shakes bottle in a jerking off fashion.*
  • Mr: "No. A guy that jerks off a lot would shake it like that. That's how a woman shakes, too."
  • Me: "No. Actually this is how I shake shit cuz I'm fucking fat. If I shake like this *demonstrates jerk off shake* I would feel fat jiggle. But by shaking like this *demonstrates the twist shake* nothing jiggles and I don't look like an asshole thus feeling just a little better about myself. So there."

Did we really just have this conversation?!?
10:33 PM / by / 4 Comments

4 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Ohhh, Mike. Will you sign in next time so it doesn't look like a creep commented? LMAO

      Delete
  2. But a creep DID comment...��

    ReplyDelete

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