"You Shake Like A Man." Wait... What?

     So I'm sitting here minding my own business and I'm thirsty. So, I pop open a bottle of water and add in a lil packet of Crystal Light, and start shaking it. I'm holding the bottle and shaking it by twisting my wrist left and right. Ya know, like I always do. Well, I'm sure you didn't know that, but now you do.

• Mr: "You shake like a man."

• Me: *shake shake shake* "What??"

• Mr: "You shake like a man."

• Me: "I...shake... like a man? What the fuck does that mean?"

• Mr: *mimics how I''m shaking the bottle* "That is how a man shakes stuff."

• Me: "Ummm no. A guy would shake like this." *shakes bottle in a jerking off fashion.*

• Mr: "No. A guy that jerks off a lot would shake it like that. That's how a woman shakes, too."

• Me: "No. Actually this is how I shake shit cuz I'm fucking fat. If I shake like this *demonstrates jerk off shake* I would feel fat jiggle. But by shaking like this *demonstrates the twist shake* nothing jiggles and I don't look like an asshole thus feeling just a little better about myself. So there."

Did we really just have this conversation?!?